National Constipation Day

A multinational laxative manufacturing conglomerate has declared that today is National Constipation Day in England. It was a shrewd move; Brits seem constantly in a delicate balance of terror and awe of their bowels.

I'm sure this will is no special day to the breathtakingly incompetent government arts bureaucrats who are in the third month of processing my grant application. Every day is constipation day for inept apparatchiks.