| A Segmented Line Only Somewhat Longer Than Infinity/2, consisting of equal lengths and intervals of x, x, 2x, 2x, 22x, 22x, 23x, 23x, 24x, 24x ... ... with x/2 in the center of Earth. ( · = x = one centillion1 sidereal light years) | |
| - 19 March 1997
- A Segmented Line Only Somewhat Longer Than Infinity/2
- It's fun to do some boring non-photographic art again. The typography doesn't look very good on the Internet version, though; I can't do a proper infinity sign and the superscripts and subscripts made the leading look atrocious. Still, anyone who's willing to spend an inordinate time dealing with technical concerns can view and/or download a PDF copy to see how it's really supposed to look.
Nothing much has changed this century; artists are still trying to make modern art with crude materials. - 20 March 1997
- Slick Idea
- I had an idea: art is too slick if you can fry an egg on it and the egg doesn't stick. After I thought about it, though, I thought it was pretty stupid to judge an art work by the degree of its bondage with a cooked ovum (as well as, of course, its envelope of albumen, jelly, membranes, et cetera).
In the end, it was my idea that didn't stick.
- 21 March 1997
- Sprung
- Today is the first day of spring. I can tell by looking in store windows, which now display the spring colors. I am an animal in touch with my environment, a product of my ecosystem.
- 22 March 1997
- New Age Huckster
- Some huckster send me a catalog full of new age business gobbledygook. My favorite was "psycho-geometrics," which asked me if I was "a box ... triangle ... circle ... rectangle ... or squiggle?" For a hundred dollars for four audio cassettes--or over two hundred dollars for thee videotapes--I was promised I would be able to "explore the 'geometry' of the personality." I would also "discover what your 'shape' says about you."
What my shape says about me is that my beer to exercise ratio is a bit higher than it should be. On the other hand, I don't feel that bad: I've never had so much to drink that I'd fall for such feeble-minded chicanery. I think the new age cozener's shape is that of a piece of excrement, to be flushed. After all, the only word that rhymes with "new age" is "sewage." - 23 March 1997
- Evolutionary Pressures
- I've been surrounded by screaming children for so long that I can actually feel my sperm count dropping. It's rather disconcerting--yet somehow reassuring--to feel evolutionary pressures at work within my testicles.
- 24 March 1997
- Impressionist Nonsense Way out of Hand
- I heard that the Monet exhibit was temporarily closed when a woman kissed one of his paintings. The exhibit reopened after a team of conservators rushed in to remove a bit of lipstick. The exhibit didn't contain any of Money's--I mean Monet's--haystacks. Some bored curator has renamed them "grainstacks," a work that doesn't appear in any of my dictionaries.
Zut alors! This whole Impressionist nonsense has gotten way out of hand. - 25 March 1997
- Snake in the Pasta
- A few days ago I want to put away some leftover pasta and found a small garden snake hidden among the spaghetti noodles. I just checked and s/he's still there. It must be the pesto sauce; snakes can never get enough basil.
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