- 5 February 2002
- The Dark World of British Art
- Ivan Massow, the chairman of the Institute of Contemporary Arts in London, said what just about everyone knows: most conceptual art is pretentious, self-indulgent, craftless tat.
So far so good.
I disagreed with Massow, though, when he added that the British art world is in danger of disappearing up its own arse. Being not unfamiliar with such things, and having read some of his other comments, I questioned his use of the future tense.
- 6 February 2002
- The Rabid Weasels Retort
- Rosemary Klavitz sent me the following email message this morning.
Dear Mr. Rinehaet [sic],
I could not help but notice that you used the same Martin Mull quote (None is so blind as he who cannot see.) twice, first on 7 March 1998 and again on 14 July 2000. Repeating the same thing, even at 860-day intervals, is the very opposite of creativity. Shame on you.
- Hmmm ...
My first response was to tell her that Id already published an acknowledgment that I occasionallyalbeit inadvertantlyrepeat the same quote. I then thought that sounded too defensive, and that such a reply might lead to a debating session with someone every bit as stupid as me.
I ended up sending Rosemary Klavitz a one-sentence rhyme:
Rabid weasels in your beds,
will soon chew you to shreds.
- I dont think Ill be engaging in further correspondence with Rosemary Klavitz.
- 7 February 2002
- The Richest Man in the World is Really Annoyed
- A serf of one of the worlds richest men issued a statement that his master, is really annoyed by the incredible pain we put everyone through in computing.
Its about time the richest man in the world got really annoyed, I told my lab assistant Roger, after all his minions have done to annoy us.
Roger that, Roger replied without a hint of irony.
Would you agree that half the people on the planet hate the richest man in the world? I asked.
If thats true, Roger replied, it may be because the other half dont know who he is.
- 8 February 2002
- Burrito Sex?!
- I receive a lot of junk email, or spam as its colloquially known. I immediately delete all such spam as soon as it arrives, but for some reason I hesitated today when I received a message with the heading, Subject: Burrito Sex.
The body of the message simply read, See International Star [name deleted] have sex with a burrito in the new movie [title deleted]. (I think the mail was a prank, but I dont want to give the spammers film any publicity in case it really exists.)
- 9 February 2002
- Sausage Cupcake
- I believe that the only reason to have children is to experiment on them. Since having even a single kid costs hundreds of thousands of dollars and years and years of time, I figured that was much too much to pay for conducting a string of experiments.
Thats why I experiment on my friends offspring. For example, after telling three-year old Luke that nothing tastes better than bananas and catsup, his parents report that he now refuses to eat a banana without catsup.
I decided to expand Lukes culinary horizons by making him a meat cupcake. (Recipe: put chocolate icing, vanilla icing, and a small piece of pasta on top of a hot dog slice.)
Thats stupid! was Lukes review of my concoction.
I wasnt discouraged. After all, it took me over a year to convince him to eat bananas and catsup. The life of a scientist is not one of immediate gratification.
- 10 February 2002
- Why Not Eat Insects?
- I ran across an interesting, small volume on a friends bookshelf: Why Not Eat Insects?
Heres the rest of the copy on the cover of Vincent M. Holts 1885 book:
- And so, why not eat insects? I cannot understand why this question has gone unanswered for well over a century.
- 11 February 2002
- Her First Wedding Should Be the Nicest
- Dr. Allard reported that his sister had a delightful wedding, and thatas I suspectedhis graphic design contributions were entirely ignored.
I wouldnt take it personally, I advised. After all, it was her day. And I think youd agree that her first wedding should be the nicest.
Who could argue with that? Certainly not Dr. Allard.
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©2002 David Glenn Rinehart