- 26 November 2002
- No. 178 (cartoon)
- Wittgenstein had the answer.
Whats the question?
The solution of the problem of life is seen in the disappearance of this problem.
- 27 November 2002
- Jimi Hendrixs Sixtieth Birthday Memorial Wake
- Adrianna informed me that Jimi Hendrix would have been sixty years old today if he wasnt dead. Adrianna then suggested that we should celebrate by following Jimis wishes. When I die I want people to just play my music, go wild, and freak out, and do anything they want to do.
I agreed that we should take good advice, so we played Jimis music, went wild, freaked out, and did anything we wanted to do.
Well into the night, I reread the Hendrix quote and pointed out to Adrianna that we were supposed to have done this decades ago when Jimi died.
I wasnt alive then, she replied. Whats your excuse?
As usual, I had no excuse.
- 28 November 2002
- Emilys Ambitious Pie
- Emily baked a spectacular pumpkin pie. Instead of using a can of jellied pumpkin, Emily cut up a real pumpkin, and added raspberries, saffron, mildly hallucinogenic peppers, and the seven secret ingredients.
This is great, I told Emily, but why did you go to so much trouble when most people would have been happy with a generic pumpkin pie?
Its kind of like having sex with a chicken, Emily replied. It doesnt seem that bad when youre engaged, but its really embarrassing when someone finds out that youre doing it.
I didnt know how to respond, so I changed the subject.
- 29 November 2002
- The Shakespeare Probability Hoax
- I had drinks today with Priscilla, a brilliant computer scientist. She told me something I should have known, but didnt.
Its easy to find information about the unknown, Priscilla explained. The unknown is almost infinite. Its a lot harder to examine the known, which is quite finite.
I responded with a confused expression.
Take Shakespeare, for example, she continued. He allegedly said all sorts of clever things. But try finding something specific, such as, His tongue was a savage beast, striking fear into the pitiful creatures it encountered.
Did Shakespeare really say that? I asked.
Look it up, Priscilla replied.
I suppose I should have called her bluff, but I really dont care about Shakespeare or computer science.
- 30 November 2002
- Old Cornucopia Vision
- I had a few drinks of Old Cornucopia this afternoon as I stared at the setting sun. Thats when I had my vision.
In the future, everyone will be anonymous for fifteen minutes.
Thats my vision, and Im sticking to it.
- 1 December 2002
- The Value of EarPainGain
- My learned colleague Jason and I were discussing the merits of various sound editing software packages this afternoon. I asked him about EarPainGain, the expensive audio software suite many of my friends use for their compositions.
If you can steal it, Jason sniffed, then I suppose its money well spent.
Inscrutable advice provides worthless insight, I replied.
I suppose so, Jason said. Anyway, EarPainGain would be lost on you, and vice-versa.
- 2 December 2002
- Who You Will Become
- I read an interesting essay on the plane, something about involuntary will. The author closed with a severe admonishment: Be careful who you try to appear to be, for that is who you will become.
Unfortunately, I lost the article I ripped from a magazine, so Im even more factless then usual. But thats never stopped me before, and a small reality deficit wont stop me from repeating a cautionary tale.
Once upon a time, Pauline envied the brilliant misanthrope Elva. Pauline imitated Elvas disdain for humanity, and succeeded to a small degree. Today, Paulines a true misanthrope too, but shes very, very far from brilliance.
Clichés dont get much better than that!
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©2002 David Glenn Rinehart