- 26 March 2003
- No. 9,365 (cartoon)
- Youre bleeding.
I shot myself.
You should have done that a long time ago.
- 27 March 2003
- It Works the Same in Every Country
- Sandy showed me a quote and asked me to guess the author. Heres the text:
Naturally, the common people dont want war, but after all it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to do the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country.
- Well, George Bush wouldnt say that because hes illiterate, I said, so Tony Blair is an obvious choice, but a bit too obvious. I assume the answer will be ironic, so Ill pick a Nazi. Hitler?
No, Sandy answered, its Hermann Goering. Had you heard it before?
No, I replied, but it was depressingly familiar anyway.
- 28 March 2003
- Agreeable Wine
- I offered Marcus some wine, but he declined.
Im afraid cheap red wine doesnt agree with me, he explained.
Im not sure it really agrees with me, I admitted. On the other hand, its never put up an argument either.
I enjoyed what turned out to be a very agreeable bottle of cheap red wine. Marcus needs to make more friends.
- 29 March 2003
- Invisible Audience
- Izahia asked me if I ever found it difficult to please my audience.
I dont know, I replied. Ive never tried.
I didnt add that I really dont have an audience.
- 30 March 2003
- A One-bulb War?
- Mary has an electric candle in her window. She put it there because her partners on a long commercial fishing trip in the Bering Sea; the candle in the window is an old maritime tradition. She also put it there to protest the invasion of Iraq.
I hope its going to be a one-bulb war, she said.
I wouldnt count on it, I replied.
- 31 March 2003
- Portland Spectacles
- I saw a giant pair of spectacles in the window of an optometrists shop in Portland, Oregon today. I photographed them; thats the only possible response when confronted with giant spectacles.
- 1 April 2003
- April Fools Sexual Prowess
- I was strolling down the street when two old men walked toward me. Their hair was matted and they wore filthy, torn clothes; I assume they were homeless. As they passed me, I distinctly heard one man say ... my sexual prowess ...
Although I understand that sex is a basic need, I nevertheless wondered if I was the victim of a subtle April Fools joke.
- 2 April 2003
- Missing Free Drink
- Im back at the lab after all sorts of travels, and its time for laundry. As I was going through my dirty clothes, I found ticket number 455075, GOOD FOR ONE DRINK. The trouble is, I cant remember what bar, airline, club, restaurant, or other establishment issued it.
I cant bring myself to throw it away, even though I doubt Ill ever be able to use it. Oh well, times are hard all over.
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©2003 David Glenn Rinehart