- 17 December 2003
- No. 136 (cartoon)
- What choice do I have?
Choice is an illusion.
Illusion is a choice.
- 18 December 2003
- Tolerant Worms
- I read a headline that said a study of worms revealed why people like me dont seem to be greatly affected my moderately large quantities of alcohol.
Worms! So thats it!
I imagined my digestive tract full of tipsy little worms who drank my beer, wine, and whisky before my body could discover the alcohol. If it werent for those invertebrate little spongers, Id probably notice the pleasant effects of adult beverages sooner than later in the evening.
And then I read the article and discovered that I probably dont have freeloading worms after all. It turns out that some members of the C. elegans family have a mutated gene, sl0-1, that controls the flow of potassium ions that have something to do with how well neurons fire. Or not. Or something like that.
I dont understand or care how my body functions; Im just relieved to know that no greedy little worms are stealing my drinks.
- 19 December 2003
- Twenty-five Hundred Weeks Old
- Most people only recognize one birthday a year, and I think thats just ridiculous. How depressing to sit back and watch the numbers increase annually, knowing that life will probably come to an end in the sixties, seventies, eighties, or almost certainly during the nineties. Or, as was recently the tragic case with a friend of a friend, in the twenties.
Thats why I celebrate as many birthdays as possible. Just a few months ago I was twenty-five million minutes old, and today Im celebrating twenty-five hundred weeks on this lovely planet, only one of which was spent in captivity.
This occasion calls for a party, so Im off to find one.
- 20 December 2003
- Love Is Oxygen
- Id drown without my dear friends; their love is oxygen.
- 21 December 2003
- Merrily, Merrily, Merrily ...
- Twelve years ago today my father took a nap from which he never awoke. I decided to mark the anniversary of his death by rereading the last letter I received from him. This is how he closed the missive: So merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. Keep having those happy dreams and I will be happy.
I have a number of friends and associates who are somewhat dissatisfied because theyll never fulfill their parents exhortations to do this, that, or some other thing. I feel fortunate to have had a father whose only request of me was to enjoy life.
- 22 December 2003
- Absinthe Party!
- What a party last night! Kerstins glowing! Ame deflowered a cake! Absinthe is a most efficacious beverage!
No wonder its illegal. Conversely, that may be exactly why its so felicitous.
- 23 December 2003
- Anger? Touch the Electric Third Rail
- The BART subway vandals have struck again! Using only a black felt pen, someone changed Danger Do not touch the electric third rail to Anger? Touch the electric third rail.
- 24 December 2003
- The Other Chef Trick
- After sharing one of my two chefs tricksthe one about the onionslast month, a number of my inquisitive friends have asked what the other stratagem is.
I think thats an entirely reasonable request; Im happy to tell everything I know. And so it is that I will reveal that I employ the Japanese approach of always keeping my guests beer and wine glasses at least half full all night.
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©2003 David Glenn Rinehart