- 10 April 2004
- No. 7,535 (cartoon)
- Youre the most selfish person Ive ever met.
I think youre in for a nasty, little surprise.
- 11 April 2004
- No Headless Vampires
- My learned friends and I were talking about unusual burial practices; thats when I reported on what I witnessed some fifteen years ago outside a small agrarian village near Bucharest, Romania.
The corpses were left out on platforms in the forest by a lake. At night, owls pecked the eyes from the cadavers; that may or may not have something to do with the owls remarkable night vision. When I visited the burial grounds, I was amazed to see the owls swimming a small pond with only their beaks above water; presumably this was some sort of of very thorough bird bath.
I was unnerved when the undertaker arrived, pulled out a saw from a worn, canvas bag and began sawing the head off the body of an old man. He put the head in an open wooden box, then repeated the process with the other three corpses. He piled the headless cadavers and the four boxed heads on the wagon, then towed it away with his tractor. All in an afternoons work.
I asked about the practice at the inn that night. One of the locals explained that a lot of villagers were superstitious after hearing disconcerting vampire stories from their neighbors to the north in Transylvania. Since no one had ever heard of a headless vampires, everyone figures separate burials for heads and bodies was only prudent.
- 12 April 2004
- Dominiques Birthday Cake
- I went to Dominiques birthday party this afternoon, and had a lovely time. I especially liked the birthday cake, even though I rarely appreciate sweets. Dominiques girlfriend, Karla, presented her with what appeared to be an ordinary chocolate cake. After Dominique blew out the candles and cut the cake, we discovered Karla made the cake from raw meat covered in chocolate icing. Dominique and Karla were the only people at the party who ate any cake, no one else could stomach sugarcoated steak tartare.
- 13 April 2004
- Evening the Odds
- Klaus is seething over some slight. I have no idea whether its real or imagined, and I dont really care. What I do know is that life is too short to stew in ones own juices, so thats exactly what I told him.
And what do you suggest I do instead? Klaus demanded.
Theres no point in getting even, I replied, get odd.
- 14 April 2004
- A Meditative Proposition
- Be er now!
- 15 April 2004
- Another Scary News Story
- Another day, another scary news story.
Get this: people who drink too much alcohol become afflicted with gout. I have no idea what gout is, but I do know that all of the heavy drinkers I know enjoy excellent health, therefore I neednt worry about gout.
Another day, another scary news story: Ill drink to that!
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©2004 David Glenn Rinehart