- 10 September 2004
- No. 4,972 (cartoon)
- My only concern is you.
My only concern is me.
This could be perfect.
- 11 September 2004
- Celibacy is for the Dead
- California legislators finally got around to outlawing necrophilia; they may or may not have been inspired by Allah.
They are really just hurting themselves, claims Justinian, whos never had sex with a dead person. Previously your dearly departed might get fucked by a decent, upstanding citizen, now they are going to get fucked by criminals.
Justinians argument is entirely specious, my favorite flavor of discourse.
- 12 September 2004
- Separate Music and Speech Channels
- Those wacky scientists are at it again. Turns out that our ears process data differently: the left ears wired for music and the right ears tuned into speech. This seems plausible in that I have a very mild case of tinnitus in my left ear.
The report I read went on to say that the brain is cross-wired, so that the left ear is connected to the right brain and so on. Personally, Ive never found these mechanical explanations of the separate parts of the brain to be of any use; Im just grateful that I have half a brain.
- 13 September 2004
- Fishy Wine
- U.S. politicians have passed a new law, the Food Allergen Labeling and Consumer Protection Act. And thats how I learned that vintners use fining agents such as fish, gelatin, eggs, clay, and all sorts of improbable additives to make wine. Its a banquet in a bottle!
I was delighted to read that some wine contains vitamin C; its no wonder that Im so healthy.
- 14 September 2004
- Patchouli Salad
- I asked Theodore if the police had managed to track down his perfidious former partner who ran off with most of the companys assets.
Why did you have have to bring that up? Theodore asked. Its like someone poured patchouli oil all over a nice salad.
I liked the metaphor; Ill have to try that some time.
- 15 September 2004
- In Trouble Again
- Im in trouble again for the usual reasons; the topology of todays fiasco is all too familiar. I still dont know now what I didnt know then.
- 16 September 2004
- Art Unrelated to Art
- Emma told me that shes having difficulty making new work. She said that shes tried making art that looks like art, and art that didnt look like art, but that neither approach worked.
Perhaps you should try a third approach, I suggested. Sometimes art has nothing to do with art.
- 17 September 2004
- Joey Ramone and Dee Dee Ramone are dead, and now Johnny Ramone is too. It looks like the rumored Ramones reunion might not be that far off.
Im listening to the Ramones while flying at a thousand kilometers an hour en route to New York, and thats just not fast enough.
Music sounds so much better when its performed by dead people.
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©2004 David Glenn Rinehart