- 5 March 2005
- No. 2,795 (cartoon)
- Get lost.
- 6 March 2005
- One Less Bike
- I was eating a burrito tonight when I watched someone steal my bicycle. He was efficient; it only took him a few seconds to cut the lock. By the time I ran out of the taqueria, he was already on my bike, which, by now, was his bike. A witness reported where the thief took the bike, and I went on an unproductive raid with the San Francisco police.
Thats certainly annoying, but, since no one got hurt, its only a matter of metal and money. And even though the bike was rather expensive, I had it for so long that I figure it only cost me less that half a dollar a day for wonderful transportation.
And, being relentlessly positive, Ill soon have an even better bike. With even better locks.
- 7 March 2005
- Another Day at the Races
- Yesterdays eleventh annual San Francisco Iditarod wasnt as good as last years race. Thats not really a criticism, though. Everyone in San Francisco agrees that nothing is ever as good as it used to be.
- 8 March 2005
- A Fortunate Marination
- I ended yesterday saturated in red wine. Thats happened many times before, of course, but last nights incident was unique. I opened a bottle of of wine just as Ive done thousands of times, then whoosh! As soon as I pulled out the cork, I was holding onto a Merlot geyser!
The wine soaked my shirt and pants, and amazingly not a single drop splattered anywhere else.
Thats great! Skizandra exclaimed.
Great that I got beat up by a bottle of wine, or great that nothing got soaked except me? I asked.
Thats good luck where I come from, my learned Italian friend replied. But you need to put some wine on your forehead.
I followed her direction, as always. I was dubious that being marinated in cheap wine was a fortuitous development, but I didnt argue. Skizandra radiates good fortune; thats all I needed to know.
- 9 March 2005
- Southern Tsunami Soy Sauce
- Maia and I enjoyed an epic walk today that ended at the ocean shore. Along the way, we dropped in So Dead Sushi to get a snack to eat in Golden Gate Park.
We found a shady spot in a glen, and spread out a little Japanese buffet. Thats when I saw the label on the soy sauce.
I dont pay close attention to my diet, and that includes ignoring the list of carcinogenic additives to processed food. And so it was that the only thing I noticed about the packets of soy sauce was the brand name: Southern Tsunami.
I know the world of commerce is a cold, brutal place, but I still have a hard time understanding how any business could sell a product with the same name of a recent natural disaster that killed some three-hundred thousand people.
- 10 March 2005
- My Fictitious Musiness Plan
- Rod called today to cancel our lunch today because he was behind on his business plan.
Thats fine, I lied, I was ahead of my musiness plan, so I couldnt have made it anyway.
What in the hell is a musiness plan? Rod asked.
Its exactly like the same as a business plan, only completely different, I explained.
- 11 March 2005
- A True Publishing Story, Mostly
- Amy sent a manuscript to a publisher.
The publisher sent Amy a rejection letter
Amy sent the publisher a rejection of rejection letter, then the publisher printed her book.
Thats a nice story. And, unlike most of my stories, its even true. Mostly.
- 12 March 2005
- Insular Publications
- I was amazed when I walked into Samanthas house: most of the walls were covered in books. Apparently, Samantha stacked the volumes by size, with Lake Baikal Tugboats and Real Cheerleader Hustle next to each other in a row of small publications. I spotted Andalusian Chains beside Matisse and Monets Mistresses among the oversized tomes.
You certainly have some eclectic reading tastes, I remarked.
What do you mean? Samantha asked.
I never met anyone who read The Dialectic of Technological Determinism as well as Hot Sex Tips for Frigid Women, I replied.
Samantha gave me a blank stare for a few seconds until she understood the misunderstanding. She went on to explain that shed read almost none of the books; she bought them to provide cheap insulation.
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©2005 David Glenn Rinehart