Stare.
 
2005 Notebook: Weak XXXV
 
   
gratuitous image
28 August 2005
No. 6,917 (cartoon)
I don’t want to talk to you for the foreseeable future.

What does “foreseeable future” mean?

Forever.

29 August 2005
Dots or Feathers?
“Dots or feathers?”

That’s the question Johanna asked when I mentioned an Indian friend of mine.

“Feathers,” I replied, then added, “Do you ever worry about getting in trouble for that question?”

“Hell, no,” Johanna replied. “Anyone who worries about saying what’s on their mind is already in trouble.”

gratuitous image
30 August 2005
Unsound Guy
“I’m Derek, the sound guy,” the bearded guy announced when I arrived at the studio to photograph Tijanna’s band’s video session.

“I’m David, the unsound guy,” I replied.

Derek and I worked on our appropriate sides of the fence, and a very loud time was had by all.

31 August 2005
Renée’s Timer
I gladly accepted Renée’s dinner invitation. Renée’s not the best cook I know (and neither am I), but there’s more to a pleasant epicurean evening than good food. And so it was that we were well into the second bottle of wine when I asked when we’d eat.

“The pizza’s in the oven,” Renée replied, “I’m just waiting for the timer to go off.”

A few minutes later, the piercing shriek of fire alarm interrupted our conversation.

“Dinner’s ready!” Renée exclaimed.

A couple of minutes later, Renée and I were eating our slightly charred dinner. I was tempted to suggest that she not use a smoke detector as a food timer, but decided not to broach the subject. After all, no one likes to be told how to cook.

1 September 2005
Tonguing Fiction
Talia accused me of lying when I told her the story of the crazy cat trying to nurse a hairball.

“Did you already read about it in my notebook?” I asked.

“I may have,” she replied, “I don’t pay much attention to your little stories.”

“You do know that I sometimes fabricate tales, don’t you?” I continued.

“Of course,” Talia responded.

“I wasn’t lying about the cat, just now,” I said, “but it might be fair to say that I was penning a short fiction piece with my tongue.”

Talia squinted, then huffed.

2 September 2005
Wine Pill
Greta inquired about my penchant for cheap wine, so I explained that it it had to do with function, not money.

“Galileo alleged, ‘wine is sunshine held together by water,’ but I disagree,” I said. “Wine is just an excipient, a delivery mechanism for alcohol.”

“Do you mean that you’d stop drinking ale and wine if you could take a cheap, tasteless alcohol pill?” Greta asked.

I usually have a quick answer for everything, even if I know it’s wrong. In this case, though, I was thoroughly perplexed.

“I’ll try almost anything once,” I replied without answering the question.

last weak  |   index  |   next weak


©2005 David Glenn Rinehart