- 13 March 2006
- No. 5,606 (cartoon)
- Youre mean and cruel.
You know thats not true.
Ive never inadvertently hurt anyone.
- 14 March 2006
- Tomatoes Kill at Least Ten in Midwest
- I was struck by the curious headline, Tomatoes Kill at Least Ten in Midwest. It turns out the story was about killer whirlwinds on steroids, not lethal vegetables. (Note to self: is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?)
I really should get some good reading glasses.
Having said that, I note the headline in later editions was changed to, Twisters Devastate Midwest. I wonder if thats because the publishers received complaints from other readers with poor eyesight, or did they bow to pressure from the powerful Tomato Anti-defamation League?
- 15 March 2006
- Plain Sight Isnt
- I enjoy my walks with Cheri for myriad reasons, not the least of which is her vision. She regularly points out things in plain sight that I otherwise would not have seen.
Why this is I do not know; its probably because Im not that observant. Or, more probably, because plain sight isnt.
- 16 March 2006
- Rhondas Unforgettable
- I lent Rhonda, a woman who works nearby, twenty dollars a few weeks ago. When I ran into her today, she apologized for not having any cash with her.
Dont worry, I said, my cash flows fine. And anyway, owing me money is a good way of ensuring that Ill never forget you.
Rhonda thought my remark was clever. It was, but it wasnt my remark; I appropriated it from Oscar Wilde. It is only by not paying ones bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.
- 17 March 2006
- Bike Accident Etiquette
- Some idiot ran Dr. Goggin off the road. The idiot was in a large car and Dr. Goggin was on his bike; it wasnt much of a contest.
Are you hurt? I asked after he told me the news over the telephone.
When I didnt receive an immediate reply, I realized Id made a terrible faux pas. I should have first asked him how his bicycle fared after the accident.
After my little slip-up, I can report that Dr. Goggins bike is fine.
And as for Dr. Goggin? Who cares?
- 18 March 2006
- Roscoes Excellent Advice
- Never pet a burning dog, Roscoe advised.
Thats excellent advice, I agreed. What else would you suggest?
Cant think of anything at the moment, Roscoe replied.
last weak |
©2006 David Glenn Rinehart