- 24 April 2006
- No. 6,735 (cartoon)
- No one has a higher opinion of you than I do.
I think youre rancid scum.
- 25 April 2006
- Curious Legal Queries
- Once upon a time decades ago, I was courting a lovely woman with a law degree. She wisely chose not to pursue employment as a lawyer, yet maintained a working knowledge of contemporary legal debates. Unfortunately for meand perhaps for her, as wellshe moved to rural Arkansas.
I wish she was still in San Francisco, for Im curious about a couple of recent legal cases. In North Carolina, a district attorney charged a couple of gentlemen with the crime of, castration without malice. I wonder of theres some nuanced legal differentiation between that crime and castration with malice. I should think so, but no one except those au fait with the law ever knows these things.
Meanwhile, in Germany, a woman driving her recently-deceased mothers body from here to there was fined for, disturbing a dead persons peace. Once ones dead, is there a state other than peace? And isnt that a theological question, not a legal matter?
I miss Dr. Kilpatricks learned company.
- 26 April 2006
- More Art, Obviously
- Nora showed up at my studio tonight with depression written all over her face, figuratively speaking. (As an aside, I thought it was important to mention figuratively speaking, since many lesser artists would have literally written depression all over their faces.)
Whats the matter, mdear? I asked.
Im depressed because Im not making any art these days, Nora confided.
Well then, I replied, perhaps you should make some art.
Thats a great idea! Nora responded after thinking about my proposition for a couple of seconds.
I wonder why the obvious solutions are the hardest to find?
- 27 April 2006
- I went to Comrade Dingles gallery tonight for an evening of Mongolian art with his friends Khurlebaatar and Munktsetseg. I quite liked the show, but then who couldnt appreciate photorealistic paintings of beautiful women with pet leopards on leashes?
By the time the band came on, Id enjoyed enough of the free wine to deeply appreciate the horse fiddle players. And regardless of any imbibing, I can say with certainty that Ive never heard more moving Mongolian throat singing.
Later, I called a friend whos spent quite a bit of time in Mongolia to tell her about the delightful evening. She said it sounded like an atypical Mongolian experience, and recommended that I go on a yak butter fast until I started hallucinating from a lack of fruit and vegetables. Im not going to take her well-intentioned advice; I much prefer Comrade Dingles edited version of Mongolian culture.
- 28 April 2006
- Take In or Take Out?
- Another day, another silly semantic debate similar in intellectual weight to the recent examination of shutting computers up and down.
Over a delicious dinner from a local restaurant, Doctors Rosen and I debated whether we were eating Chinese take out or Chinese take in food. The debate lasted for hours, and now I cant remember whoif anyonewon. I suppose it doesnt matter, for I also cant remember my position on the issue. As pedants go, Im certainly not a very good one.
- 29 April 2006
- Another Embarrassing Elevator Encounter
- I was alone in an elevator this afternoon when a lovely young woman got in on the third floor.
Can I smell your crotch? she asked after the door closed.
I was stunned by her query, and couldnt come up with a reply.
Then it must be your feet, she announced as she backed away from me.
Dang, thats the most embarrassing elevator experience Ive had since the misinterpreted sex request in Berlin. I really should take the stairs more often.
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©2006 David Glenn Rinehart