Stare.
 
2006 Notebook: Weak XLI
 
   
gratuitous image
9 October 2006
No. 9,847 (cartoon)
You’re loathsome.

Because I loathe you?

10 October 2006
Slow on the Draw
Cecilia Rhodes of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, wrote to inform me that my “so-called sketches aren’t sketches at all.”

“If you call yourself an artist, mister,” she added, “then by God you’d better be able to draw.”

I can draw, but not very fast. That’s because I generally carry my Glock hidden inside my jacket rather than in a holster. For that and many other reasons, I shall avoid a showdown with Cecilia Rhodes of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.

11 October 2006
Confuciuses
Randall was, as usual, complaining about his despotic boss and wretched existence at his workplace.

“Choose a job you love,” I advised, “and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

“Don’t give me that Confucius crap,” Randall replied sullenly.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

It turns out that the job-you-love quote came from Confucius, not the “some junkie” source from whom I stole the line.

I really must be more careful about the people I plagiarize. It’s a sad day indeed when one can’t steal from a junkie.

12 October 2006
Rebecca’s Mess
Rebecca is messed up; Rebecca is all messed up. I know this to be true, for she told me so herself. She also asked me for advice.

“Take the spider by the tail and looks facts in the eye,” I suggested.

“I’m so messed up that almost makes sense,” Rebecca replied sadly.

Rebecca really is all messed up.

13 October 2006
Sheila’s Demurral
Sheila cited Nietzsche when she declined my outrageous proposition: “What kills us makes us weaker.”

Nietzsche never said that, of course. But since that’s a better line than Nietzsche ever came up with, I graciously accepted Sheila’s demurral.

I wonder who’ll help me spread the beastly pumpkin disease?

14 October 2006
Insane or Genius?
After Marcus gave me the details of his latest scam, I opined that he was genuinely insane.

“Insane or genius?” Marcus replied. “I suppose it’s a matter of whether or not one succeeds.”

Who could argue with that?

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©2006 David Glenn Rinehart