- 15 January 2007
- No. 8,599 (cartoon)
- Im as good as my word.
Your word is meaningless.
Im as good as my word.
- 16 January 2007
- The Sound of No Hands Clapping
- Gareth was in town with his band tonight; he put on a wonderful show. I quite enjoyed it, especially since he gave me a free ticket. At the end of the performance, the crowd applauded for at least five minutes.
Eventually, Gareth returned to the stage to announce that he wouldnt do an encore.
I heard some of you not clapping, he explained before walking off the stage.
- 17 January 2007
- Buzz came by and announced that hed acquired a case of JB. Since Buzz is a trusted friend, I didnt ask him if there was a chance I might get JB from being in the same room with; its bad manners to ask for specifics about a friends possibly communicable disease.
Turns out JB isnt an ailment at all, its exactly the opposite: JB is the two-character acronym for JosephsBrau beer. We enjoyed the Oktoberfest, even though it was only seventy-three percent as strong as Rainier Ale, and the diminutive beer bottle was twenty-five percent smaller than the familiar green cans of ale.
(Curiously, the Oktoberfest has twenty-five bitterness units, a measurement Ive never heard of before, probably because its irrelevant to beers raison dêtre.)
Buzz opined that the Oktoberfest would taste better with music, and requested that I play some James Brown recordings.
In memory of his recent demise? I asked.
No, Buzz replied, its the subliminal message on the JB bottle cap; I feel like Im channeling James Brown.
I dont know much about Browns chemical inspirations, I said, but I always figured him for an angel dust type of hombre. After all, not many people try to outrun the cops in a car with flat tires after a few beers.
- 18 January 2007
- Dimes Are the New Pennies
- A couple of days ago I found a dime on a busy street. Today I found another one.
Although I have found coins from time to time, its usually just the odd penny or two. The most Ive ever found is $1.22.
Now that Im finding more dimes than pennies, I wonder if inflation is worse than I realized?
- 19 January 2007
- Strange Drinking Death
- Jennifer Lea Strange drank herself to death during a contest. At first, that sad story sounds fairly predictable; what mother of three wouldnt drink heavily? In this case, the twenty-eight year old was vying with seventeen other contestants to see who could drink the most without urinating. A Sacramento radio station promised the winner of the competition an expensive video game.
Heres the curious part: according to the Sacramento County Coroners Office, Strange apparently died from water intoxication after drinking over two liters of water.
Im fairly certain I wont die from drinking too much, but, in the unlikely event I do, it wont be from water intoxication.
- 20 January 2007
- On Longevity
- Lynns seventy-five years old tomorrow, so Im at her place in Petaluma to start the party early. I hope I also live to be seventy-five, but only if Im as healthy and energetic as she is.
According to researchers at the University of Warwick in England, I can extend my lie by a couple of years ... (Oops; I meant to write my life. Im glad I dont believe in Freudian slips.)
According to researchers at the University of Warwick in England, I can extend my life by a couple of years by winning the Nobel prize.
Status seems to work a kind of health-giving magic, explained Andrew Oswald. Once we do the statistical corrections, walking across that platform in Stockholm apparently adds about two years to a scientists lifespan. How status does this, we just dont know.
Although Im not a bettor, Id wager that Oswald may have a good chance at winning the Ig Nobel prize. If so, I wonder if and how that will affect his longevity?
- 21 January 2007
- Therefore I Am
- I had a dream about a new art work. The idea was quite simple, even for me. The piece consisted of a hundred-dollar bill with the words Therefore I Am printed underneath.
The strange thing isnt that I thought of it; most people have curious dreams. No, the unusual thing about this experience is that I liked the idea after I awoke; I even fancied making the piece after drinking several cups of espresso.
So I did. Therefore I Am.