- 18 June 2008
- No. 2,112 (cartoon)
- Im going nowhere.
Youre already there.
- 19 June 2008
- Mexican Fecal Dust
- When I think of Mexico City, I think of Robert Cameron, the photographer and publisher who made a series of books featuring his aerial photographs of large metropolitan areas, with popular titles such as Over This City, Over That City, Over the Other City, et cetera. I clearly remember him saying he decided not to create Over Mexico City for a simple reason: fecal dust.
Thats right, fecal dust. And so, when I think about flying into and out of Mexico City tomorrow, the only thing I can imagine is fecal dust. At least I should enjoy a colorful sunset, rich in airborne Escherichia coli.
- 20 June 2008
- Latin [sic] America
- Im on my first trip to Latin America, and Im thoroughly confused before Ive even arrived. None of the flight attendants on my United Airlines trip to Mexico City or my LAN flight to Santiago seem to speak any Latin at all.
Im resourceful, and am getting along fine on the plane by first tapping the bottle of wine on the flight attendants cart, then pointing to my gullet while making guttural glug glug glug sounds.
I wonder what Ill do after the jet lands? The same thing, probably; drinking is a language thats even more widely understood than Latin.
- 21 June 2008
- Greenpeace Runs on Whale Meat
- Im here in Santiago at another tedious International Whaling Commission meeting. Everyones talking about the recent Japanese police arrest of a couple of Greenpeace members for stealing whale meat. The alleged activists claimed they were investigating an illegal whale meat syndicate, but I know better.
It costs a lot of money to operate a ship, and one of the ways Greenpeace can afford to operate several oceangoing vessels is with cheapor apparently stolenwhale meat. When I was on the Rainbow Warrior in the eighties, we had huge stores of whale steaks, whale bacon, and even whale oil to lubricate everything from winches to engines. The boat, and everyone one it, had the rubbery patina of whale.
I particularly enjoyed minke sashimi; that was the captains favorite. Anyone who says that dont like whales hasnt tasted them with soy sauce and wasabi.
- 22 June 2008
- Curious Chilean Drinking Practices
- Everyone here in Chile calls Coca Cola, la aguas negras del imperialismo, or, the black waters of imperialism. And, curiously, they still drink the sugary swill. But then things get worse.
South American farmers grow some of the worlds best coffee, but what do they serve here? Nes, thats what. The generic Nes comes from Nescafe instant coffee. Its like being in Oklahoma.
Of well, at least the Chileans know what to with their grapes; the wine here is both tasty and efficacious.
- 23 June 2008
- Boring Santiago Maids
- Alexia joined me in my hotel room for a drink. I was surprised when she said she was disappointed with the view from the eighteenth floor.
How can you go wrong with a view of snowcapped mountains? I asked.
Im talking about the maids in the apartment building across the street, she replied. Theyre all wearing the same stupid, blue uniforms. In New York Im used to seeing maids wearing fetish outfits or nothing at all.
Empirical evidence suggests that were not in New York, I concluded.
I was tempted to ask Alexia how she came to be such an accomplished voyeur, but I didnt. There are some things I dont want to know.
- 24 June 2008
- Armed Unrest
- For reasons unknown, heavily armed soldiers are surrounding the convention center where the whaling commission is meeting. I wondered if there is any relationship between the military show of force and the bullet holes in nearby buildings.
Why are there so many troops here? I asked the concierge. Are you expecting trouble?
Dont worry about the soldiers, señor, he replied, they are not here to cause unrest, they are here to maintain it.
- 25 June 2008
- The Andys
- Im enjoying seeing the Andys mountain range, even if it reminds me of the brutal dictator Augusto Pinochet.
The tyrant was infatuated with the mediocre pop star, Andy Gibb. He sent Gibb hundreds of love letters; theres no indication that the singer ever replied. Perhaps the nadir of the despots courtship was the 1988 video in which the paunchy tyrant pranced around the military academy, dressed only in fishnet stockings, gold lame epaulets, and large sunglasses.
These mountains can be yours Señor Gibb, Pinochet said waving his riding crop at the mountains outside Santiago. From now on, Ive declared that they be called Andys.
Unfortunately or not, Gibb died (was it a cocaine overdose?) about the time Pinochet made his bizarre video.
The film was even too much for the generals whod supported Pinochets terror campaign of torture and murder; the wretched dictator was deposed less than two years later. Why the mountains are still called Andys, this I do not know.
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©2008 David Glenn Rinehart