- 9 October 2009
- No. 1,530 (cartoon)
- Our love is rare.
It really is remarkable.
No, I mean its usually absent.
- 10 October 2009
- Moderation, Australian Style
- Things can go higgledy-piggledy when people drink a lot, as anyone whos visited the former penal colony of Australia can attest. Apparently, things have become so corybantic there that the authorities have instituted alcohol rationing at the Bathurst 1000. Racing fans will now be limited to a daily allowance of just four liters of wine or one slab of beer.
Slab of beer?!
Id never heard that unit of measurement before. After a bit of investigation, I discovered that a slab comprises twenty-four 375-milliliter cans of beer. In other words, motorsports aficionados will be limited to only one beer an hour. Thats insane; I wonder how many people will have to die from dehydration under the brutal Australian sun before bureaucrats rescind their ridiculous quota?
- 11 October 2009
- No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Ive never mentioned this before, but what little I know about the mechanics of the English language is perhaps attributable to my dear friend Brads passive tutelage. Hes proofed these notebook entries on occasion, and whatever semblance of proper English appears here and there is, in large part, attributable to his guidance.
As an expression of my appreciation, I sent Brad a copy of my book, Three Black Squares, Cartoons (sort of), with an inscription.
- Anyone familiar with the premise that no good deed goes unpunished can guess what happened next. Brad expressed his thanks for the gift, and said it was fine with him that Id implicitly blamed all of the publications shortcomings in generaland page forty-seven in particularon him with my couldnt have done it without you remark.
I took his response in stride. Having known each other for a third of a century, theres not much either of us can do to change our friendship for better or worse.
- 12 October 2009
- Timeless Reorganization
- Dr. Moody reports that her office is abuzz with rumors of an impending corporate reorganization. Shes used to such workplace turbulence with good reason; its been going on for millennia. Heres how Gaius Petronius described the process over two-thousand years ago.
We trained hard, but it seems that every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
Human beings are nothing if not predictable.
- 13 October 2009
- Single Double Entendre?
- Rodney and Ruth are at it again; their long-distance courtship is not going well, not well at all.
Ruth told me to stop sending her lascivious notes, Rodney complained, but there wasnt a single double entendre in the last one.
Isnt single double entendre an oxymoron? I asked.
My ploy to change the subject worked; Ruths name never came up during the rest of the conversation.
Rodney and Ruth will figure something out; people always do. Its like Shakespeare said, If love be the torment of doves, let the band play on.
- 14 October 2009
- Stewarts Career Path
- Stewarts been working for the same corporation for almost thirty years. He started with an entry-level position as a peon, then moved up the corporate ladder to drone, then lackey, then on to minion. He called me this afternoon to announce that his overseers had finally promoted him to stooge.
That puts me right on course to be a henchman before I retire, he reported. Henchmen get pretty good retirements.
Poor Stewart. I was too polite to ask him why he thought if hed enjoy life in retirement since he hasnt taken much pleasure in it during the last half of a century.
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©2009 David Glenn Rinehart