always squints or closes her eyes when using a telephone
claimed her poodle was hit by a car after she drowned him
never made love to a man over thirty or a woman under twenty
memorized the Latin names of all of her seventeen fishes
shields her innocence behind a convincing façade of brutality
surreptitiously adds melted lard to friends’ vegetarian meals
proud of never having ventured beyond the Paris city limits

I. Mademoiselle Janvier