What took you so long?

My favorite part of the lecture was Diamond’s acknowledgment of his failure. He admitted that he failed to come to a conclusion in his book, Why Is Sex Fun?

And that’s fine with me. Some things are better left to the imagination and/or empirical evidence.

The problem is this: I’ve never, ever made a campfire in the wilderness. I’m too lazy to cook with wood; I use a gas stove. Still, I’m grateful to Nate Thurmond for all the false memories.

I looked up Vade Mecum, and read that it is “a useful thing that one constantly carries about” and/or “a book, such as a guidebook, for ready reference,” neither of which describes my alleged work.

“So why should I call my notebook Vade Mecum?” I asked Simon.

“Because ‘An Artist’s Notebook of Sorts’ is so boring,” he cheerfully explained.

After protracted legal battles lasting well over a decade, Schiavo’s partner finally won innumerable court battles that allowed his wife’s feeding tube to be removed to allow her a natural death.

Meanwhile, an alliance of cretins, imbeciles, and fascists—including the U.S. president, who represents all three—is trying to have the feeding tube reinserted. They want to generally impose their values on others, and specifically outlaw abortions, even in cases of rape or incest. Schiavo’s a convenient human (or vegetable?) pawn.

I think the feeding tube should be inserted, the way Ms. Schiavo might have wanted: for her to feed others. She could finally end her life with bulimia as she almost did fourteen years ago, and the her last discharge could provide a modest bulimia banquet for a presidential lunch.

“Sorry about my lack of technique; I don’t know how to read your body like a real masseuse would.” I apologized. “All I can feel is meat.”

“I suppose we’re cognizing meat,” Penultima mused.

I agreed, and gave up trying to read her confusing muscles. We enjoyed a very pleasant day.