I try not to rest on my laurels.

Shannon flies, sort of. That is, she travels through the air swinging from one piece of aerial acrobatics contraption to another. As a result of all the friction, her palms have large calluses that she needs to shave to stay in shape.

I was impressed when Shannon showed me her palms. They were rugged and austere, like the Siberian tundra. Actually, they were nothing of the sort, but I’ve always wanted to use the phrase, “rugged and austere, like the Siberian tundra.”

I’m delighted to have a friend who shaves her hands. I suspect I have more than one friend who does the same, but Shannon’s the only one with nothing to hide.

Having said that, part of my job description as an artist is to exhibit a modicum of originality. Thus, I was somewhat annoyed to learn that the editors of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary have decided that ginormous is a “real” word.

I’ve been using ginormous since 1996. I thought I was using it almost exclusively, but, once again, I was obviously mistaken. Oh well, I’ll just have to invent a new synonym for huge. Jonathan Swift probably wouldn’t mind if I used Brobdingnagantic.

Mark Twain was certainly right when he concluded, “What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.”

I’m in no position to gloat about someone else’s typographical error; my writing is chock full o’ myriad mistakes. On the other hand, I never claimed to be a rocket scientist. It’s disconcerting that the people responsible for the ridiculously complex task of sending humans into space failed to notice an obvious misspelling.

After thinking about it, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided that I like NASA’s most recent mistake, especially since it didn’t kill anyone. I wish I had the courage to make my gaffes with three-meter tall letters.

Huey relies on the generosity of wealthy patrons to support his environmental work, but he disdains socializing with them more than absolutely necessary. We agreed that drinking with our rich friends was an expensive proposition, since they generally prefer to tipple overpriced adult beverages at pricey taverns. Huey told me he keeps cases of cheap wine at his home so he’s never obliged to frequent expensive saloons.

“It’s important to get stoned on your own terms,” Huey explained.

(I should mention that Huey’s use of the word “stoned” comes from the last millennium, when people used alcohol as a drug.)

(Blair is more commonly known by his pen name, George Orwell.)

“I haven’t grown up,” I replied, “that’s a euphemism for the end of growth. I’ll never grow up”

Joyce rolled her eyes and handed me another beer.

“Don’t get all semantical on me,” she said. “After all, no one’s going to confuse you with a grownup.”

“I know that the shiny compact disks are supposed to scare away birds,” I said, “but why are you also using floppy discs?”

Lori explained that, since compact discs held some five-hundred more data than floppy discs, she used a combination to keep both large and small avifauna away from her apples and apricots.

Wow! That’s the kind of science I can appreciate!