A friend of an associate of a friend who works for the United States Central Intelligence Agency revealed a barbaric interrogation technique he and his colleagues use at “secret” detention camps in countries that permit torture.

The agents threaten to irradiate the prisoner inside a giant microwave oven unless he coöperates. To demonstrate the effectiveness of the technique, an interrogator puts a pork sausage in a microwave oven for a couple minutes, which causes the water inside to boil and explode the tube of flesh. The inquisitor then begins the interrogation by waving the distorted meat in the captive’s face, making sure to splatter him with hot pig fat. (Virtually all of the prisoners are Muslims.)

I recreated the technique in my studio using thirteen wienerwursts. I wonder if the CIA really does have a microwave oven large enough to cook a human?