- 2 July 2001
- More Free Art
- Louisas a dervish, thats all there is to it. She zips and zooms and dives and twirls and never ever stops, and even when she sits down at her desk she doesnt sit still. Thats when she turns her employers writing implements into small sculptures using the most rudimentary of tools. Art beats working any day.
Louisas as generous as she is talented; she gives each piece away as soon as she finishes it. Thats the way art should be.
- 3 July 2001
- English Muffins
- I was riding down a quiet hillside street in San Francisco when I saw an amazing sight. Right there in the middle of the pavement, I spotted an unblemished package of English muffins. There they were, sitting silently in the center of the quiet street, as if theyd just fallen off a grocers shelf.
Poof! Another surreal San Francisco day.
After ascertaining that the muffins were in fact fresh, clean, and perfectly edible, I took them back to the lab. Thats when I noticed the corporate bakers description of the muffins: An American Tradition For Over 100 Years.
I wired a few friends in the Yuck (Im told thats how sophisticates pronounce UK), and got three separate replies confirming stories Id heard over the years: an English muffin has nothing to do with England. There are no English muffins in England.
I wonder why anyone would call any foodstuff except fish and chips English? I guess it seemed like a good idea a century or so ago.
The English muffins were tasty, especially since they were free.
- 4 July 2001
- My Names Hannah
- Hannah walked across the room of the cabin and introduced herself as soon as I walked in.
My names Hannah, she said with a big smile, and Im shy.
That was a great line, especially from a four-year old. I cant wait to plagiarize it.
- 5 July 2001
- Collar Bones are Beautiful
- Amy told me she met the weirdest doctor at a picnic yesterday. I told her I thought all doctors were a little weird. After all, who but the weird would spend too many years in school in order to spend the rest of their lives surrounded by sick people and playing golf?
No, Amy corrected, I meant the weirdest doctor.
Lets hear the evidence, prosecutor, I requested.
Well, first, hes got a fetish for collar bones, Amy began.
Thats not very weird, is it? I asked. I may have blushed while I tried to remember if Id ever told Amy about my fascination with collar bones.
Nothing wrong with gnawing on a good collar bone now and again, Amy agreed, but this guy took it a bit far.
Just out of healthy curiosity, I wondered aloud, how far is too far?
He told me in medical school he refused to examine corpses above the stomach cavity, Amy explained. He said that if he peeled off a womans skin to examine shoulder muscles and other bones, my romance with collar bones would be over.
Sounds like real love to me, I opined. So what did he do?
First he told me hes an oncologist and amateur photographer, Amy replied, and then he asked if I wanted to pose for some interesting pictures.
I confided that amateur photographers scare me too.
- 6 July 2001
- Lake Cleawox Dock
- I was in the process of mistitling this piece when my learned hosts gently pointed out that Lake Cleowox is, in fact, spelled Lake Cleawox. Why they did not tell me half a lifetime ago, this I do not know.
Lake Cleawox Dock is another of my boring retinal pictures, and is available in the PDF format.
- 7 July 2001
- Marcuss Book Review Methodology
- I was talking with Marcus about traveling and everything else, and brought up William Least Heat Moons book, Blue Highways.
Did you finish reading the book? Marcus asked.
No, I replied, I was in a friends ...
Thats all I need for a book review, Marcus interrupted. You didnt read the whole book; thats all I need to know.
At first, I thought Marcus was being unfair to authors and readers in general, and to Least Heat Moon and me in particular. The more I thought about it, though, the more I appreciated the beautiful simplicity of Marcuss book review methodology.
- 8 July 2001
- Things Are Different on a Bike
- I took an incredible bike trip today. I rode to Leighs Ferry via the House of Torments, then road back to the lab on Cornbridge Way. I didnt realize until just before midnight that I rode uphill all the way to Leighs Ferry and uphill all the way back.
Things are different on a bike; thats the only possible explanation.