- 27 November 2004
- No. 3,623 (cartoon)
- What will you do to make the world better?
- 28 November 2004
- Neither Diary nor Blog
- Sharon hit a tender semantic nerve when she told me that she never reads my diary.
I abhor the contraction blog, I replied, and I certainly dont publish a diary. I have a notebook, nothing more, nothing less.
I didnt say that, Sharon said, I meant I didnt read your insipid diarrhea of the mouth!
That sounds reasonable, I agreed.
- 29 November 2004
- An Unusual Death
- Dr. Pupahrdhi told me a remarkable story about one of her clinics clients, a cantankerous old curmudgeon. She reported that when he died, the authorities reported he was found standing up.
You mean he died and didnt fall over? I asked.
Exactly, she replied.
How is that possible? I wondered aloud.
Im trying to find out myself, Dr. Pupahrdhi said.
Wow! He was a curmudgeons curmudgeon!
- 30 November 2004
- On the Hinternet
- Joyce asked me if I was lying about publishing my work on the Internet since she couldnt find any trace of me there.
I know exactly what happened, I explained, you searched the Internet, no?
Of course, Joyce replied, sounding slightly more annoyed than usual.
The Internet has been largely colonized by transnational corporate monopolies that have marginalized independent people like myself, I explained.
I hear you saying you were lying about having your work online, Joyce concluded.
Not at all, I protested, you may find my work on the Hinternet. Look it up.
I wonder if there really is a(n) Hinternet?
- 1 December 2004
- A Day Not Without Wretched Art
- I received a simple, straightforward invitation to an opening tonight at San Franciscos city hall.
SF FACES 2.0
40+ local photographers.
100+ amazing photographs.
FREE | free drinks. free food. free music.
- Four occurrences of the word free caught my attention, so I took a short walk. When I arrived, all the food and drinks were gone, and I would have paid not to listen to the mediocre guitar player. The photographs, however, were amazing. Amazingly bad. I left after scanning the room for anyone I knew. My friends, all of whom are smarter than I am, had wisely stayed away.
Back at the lab after picking up some Rainier Ale, I whinged to Luis about the miserable event. When Luis suggested I was complaining too much, I had a rare moment of analytical clarity. I pointed out that tonights event had failed to satisfy any of the four reasons one might go to an art opening.
3. Eating, and, let us not forget,
Luis informed me that a number of well-intentioned people are trying to declare the first day of December to be a day without art. Apparently the folks who organized tonights event are among them, alas.
- 2 December 2004
- Dears! Photographer, Painter and Mystic Man Frantisek Drtikol
- Once upon a time, I made a little joke about being a real journalist.
Oops; big mistake.
Ever since then, I keep getting silly press releases, such as this one:
We lite to point out a newly origineled internet domain concerning one of the big personalities of the modern art to the mid 20th century and dedicated to the Photographer, Painter and Mystic Man Frantisek Drtikol, this domain of all exhibited and written works here is for sale
On the page you can find detailed information of his life and above all a presentation of alesser collection of his work. This collection is for the sale right now, because in wiev of the fad most of his work is already at the institutions collections or private collectors, we suppose to be an extraordinary offer and that his work is appeared rather seldom and only in items. We also supposed that this complex offer is an exceptional opportunity at the fair with the art to be completed yours collection about the european important author.
- Since I speak no European languages, I will never, ever make fun of anyone for their poor English. I will, however, celebrate their creativity. Should I ever send a press release, I shall certainly use the salutation, Dears!
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©2004 David Glenn Rinehart