- 24 December 2008
- No. 6,328 (cartoon)
- I wish I was here.
- 25 December 2008
- A Shitty Christmas
- A lot of people believe thatif youre good and have a high-fiber dietMr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo, will visit on Christmas day. Im not superstitious, so I didnt pay much attention to the legend of Mr. Hankey.
Until this morning, that is.
After I crawled out of bed, I discovered several piles of excrement on the kitchen floor. I suspect the holiday gift came from Titian, the miserable cur Im watching over while his owners are away. Im not blaming the mongrel, though; perhaps Mr. Hankey really did drop by!
In any case, I sang the last part of the Mr. Hankey song as I cleaned up the repulsive mess.
Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo,
When Christmas leaves he must leave too.
Flush him down but hes never gone,
His smell and his spirit linger on.
- 26 December 2008
- Luciana opened a nice box of red wine; she described it as a holiday in a box.
Its an alcoholiday! I agreed.
And that was the beginning and the end of boxing day, as far as I can recall. A large box of red wine is a welcome addition to most meals, but of little benefit when it comes to writing and memory. Thats why I dont like to go on alcoholidays very often; theres little to show for the effort except a tanned brain.
- 27 December 2008
- An Abundance of Pretentiousness and a Dearth of Ideas
- I was looking through Nells recordings when I discovered the most impressive packaging that Ive seen for a disk, Fabric 36 by Ricardo Villalobos. The collection of songs was on a disk inside of a glossy envelope inside of a die-cut sleeve inside of an embossed metal case inside of yet another printed sleeve.
And the music? Dreadfully mediocre electronic disco crap. Evidently, all the talent and creativity went into the packaging.
The wretched music reminded me of Chris Rauschenbergs White Gloves Hypothesis: The quality of art work is inversely proportional to the number of white cotton gloves included in the portfolio case.
An abundance of pretentiousness will never conceal a dearth of ideas, but that certainly doesnt stop people from trying.
- 28 December 2008
- World-class Typo
- If theres anything I like better than a huge typo, its a mammoth typo on a publications cover. And so, the editors at MaxPlanckForschung have made me very happy.
The deep thinkers at the The Max Planck Institute decided some classic Chinese calligraphy would be just the thing to grace the cover of an issue looking at China. Unfortunately, they knew about as much about the Chinese language as I do: nothing.
And that explains why the cover of a recent issue of MaxPlanckForschung extolls the enchanting and coquettish performance of hot housewives in action! Very classy!
That was such an idiotic mistake that Im surprised that I didnt do anything quite that bad when I was editing and publishing a periodical. Perhaps I was too amateurish; perhaps it takes world-class intellectuals to make a truly world-class typo.
- 29 December 2008
- I just learned that a baby puffin is a puffling. I think puffins may be one of those species that explodes in a microwave oven, but Im not going to look for a definitive answer. Im running out of places in my little brain to store new knowledge; Im glad the year is almost over.
- 30 December 2008
- Twenty-Three Cinematic Yosemite Panoramas
- Ive been mildly suffering from a paucity of natural grandeur recently, so I decided to take mattersor pixelsinto my own hands. Specifically, I enlarged some tiny Yosemite photographs from 576 pixels to 12,960,000 pixels to make Twenty-Three Cinematic Yosemite Panoramas. In the process of converting the thirty-two bit images, my computer created some fine patterns that arent visible on the Internet. Still, I like the self-indulgent photos, but I would say that, wouldnt I?
Was Yosemite National Park made for chromophobic photographers, or was it the other way around?
- 31 December 2008
- Rolls of Honour
- Its almost 2009, and thus time to cite all businesses that have made this another great year for my Rolls of Honour programme.
Atlanta Motel (Orangeville, Ontario)
Don Edwards San Francisco Bay National Wildlife Refuge (Newark)
Flint (Michigan) International Airport
Hunters Point Shipyard
International Forum on Globalization
Left Space Studios
Life Science! (Woodland)
Mamas Royal Cafe (Oakland)
Nifty Nook Restaurant (Orangeville, Ontario)
Nonesuch Gallery (Oakland)
Northwest Airlines Flight 222 (SFO/MSP)
Outrigger Napili Shores (Hawaii)
Papa Lima Sandwich (New York)
Philip Williams and Associates, Ltd.
Ritz-Carlton (New York)
Rudys Cant Fail Cafe (Emeryville)
St. Marys Medical Center
San Francisco Art Institute
Solano Land Trust
Vientian Cafe (Oakland)
Westin St. Francis
Thanks to all my sponsors, and bottoms up!
last weak |
©2008 David Glenn Rinehart