David for King! The Five Fs
Update Campaign Decrees Support David Press About David About Chuck
Decree No. 1 · Decree No. 2 · Decree No. 3
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Campaign Decree No. 1

Everyone in England shall automatically become a member of the royal family.

Does it seem fair that Chuck’s family has been royalty for ages and the rest of us have not? And in some cases naught? Of course not. That’s why my first official act after being elected King will be to make everyone in England a member of the royal family.

You want to spend a couple nights in one of the royal castles? Under the reign of King David, you can ... if you win the Royal Lottery. Need a lift somewhere? If I have room in my royal carriage—or royal helicopter, for that matter—I’ll be happy to give you a ride if I’m headed that way.

I’ve also asked my Royal Advisory Board to study giving tourists temporary membership in the royal family: it could generate more tourism. With the extra income, I may be able to provide everyone in England with even more free beer and tea!

David (artist’s impression)
David (artist’s impression)

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