I apologize profusely for the poor quality of the previous week's entries. Although there is no excuse for such shoddy craftsmanship, there is an explanation. Upon leaving San Francisco, I foresaw that I would be too busy to devote the usual amount of time and attention to this notebook, so I hired a Mr. Allen Spanger to live my life for me. He assured me that he would have exciting adventures in my stead, and that he would provide scintillating accounts of those experiences for your vicarious pleasure.
Instead, Mr. Spanger plumbed new depths of sloth and lethargy. His reports were tired and tedious, and illustrated with inexpensive clip art instead of the quality photography that normally appears here.
Mr. Spanger has been fired and I have confiscated his entire Incredible Image Pak [sic] library of 65,000 "instant images." I have also refused to pay his ridiculously inflated invoice. He's threatening all manner of dire legal consequences, but I know he'll procrastinate until some sort of statute of limitations kicks in.
Again, please accept my most sincere apologies. I can assure you this sort of thing won't happen again.
