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- 18 September 2008
- No. 5,373 (cartoon)
- Will you ever abandon me?
Of course not. Weve never been together. - 19 September 2008
- Whats Wrong With a Miniskirt?
- Its a mistake to depreciate foreign cultures, but its a mistake that sometimes cannot be resisted. And thats certainly the case with Uganda, a country about which I know virtually nothing.
What little I do know is associated with Idi Amin, the syphilitic, brutal tyrant who terrorized and almost destroyed the country decades ago. He was an appalling murderer and torturer, but he occasionally had a certain lunatic appeal, such as when he challenged the British navy to a battle on Lake Victoria. Fortunately, todays Ugandan bureaucrats arent in the same criminal league as Amin, but they still manifest a certain lunatic charm. Take Nsaba Buturos war on miniskirts. Whats wrong with a miniskirt? Ugandas Minister for Ethics and Integrity asked. You can cause an accident because some of our people are weak mentally. Buturo views miniskirts as a severe traffic hazard, and worse. These days you hardly know who is a mother from a daughter, they are all naked. If you find a naked person, you begin to concentrate on the makeup of that person and yet you are driving, he said. Id think that Ugandan drivers would face greater distractions than miniskirt-clad women of all ages, but, having never been to Uganda, I really cant say. - 20 September 2008
- A Legend in My Own Mind
- As a legend in my own mind, I dislike being compared to other artists. And so, I was mildly irritated when Veronica compared my work to someone elses.
Upon closer examination, I said, I believe youll discover that the similarities in our work are quite different. Veronica didnt argue, and thats never a good sign. - 21 September 2008
- Love is Grand
- Brandons in love with Anita, and is not hesitant to tell everyone. At great length, even.
The five things I love about her are her beauty, her brilliance, her charm, and her empathy, Brandon enthused. So whats the fifth thing? I asked. Its her brilliance, Brandon exclaimed. You already mentioned brilliance, I pointed out. I did, but shes so brilliant it counts twice, Brandon enthused. Ah, love is grand! - 22 September 2008
- Wasted Space
- Everyones whinging about how little money they have. Looking around, I see huge amounts of unused and unappreciated material wealth. Since Im embarrassingly ignorant about economics, Ive never been able to even begin to explain why I feel this way. Fortunately, Buckminster Fuller had no such deficiency.
Our beds are empty two-thirds of the time. Our living rooms are empty seven-eighths of the time. Our office buildings are empty one-half of the time. Its time we gave this some thought.
- It is indeed time we give this some thought, but I doubt anyone will. Fuller died over twenty-five years ago.
- 23 September 2008
- Irish Breakfast Tea versus English Breakfast Tea
- Julia was mulling over her beverage options; she asked me what differentiated Irish breakfast tea from English breakfast tea.
I think youll find that theres no whisky in English breakfast tea, I advised. Julia opted for the Irish breakfast tea. Three cups, and perhaps a fourth. - 24 September 2008
- Bob Dylans Missing Suitcase
- Bob Dylan Née Robert Zimmerman talked about having been in trouble since I set my suitcase down in his recently released song, Mississippi. Dylans one of the wealthiest people on the planet; Id wager he hasnt touched a suitcase in decades. Perhaps hes telling the truth; one could argue that he really has been in trouble since he set his suitcase down.
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