- 22 October 2004
- No. 2,943 (cartoon)
- Whos in control?
Control is an illusion.
- 23 October 2004
- That Schwarzenschnitzel
- What is it about Californians that leads them to choose actors of very modest talent to govern the state? The Austrian-born Arnold Schwarzenegger may have plans beyond Sacramento; some of his apparatchiks propose changing the U.S. constitution to allow immigrants to run for president. Schwarzeneggers doing a good job of expectation management; he claims his opponents dont want that Schwarzenschnitzel to be president.
This is one of those cases when that Schwarzenschnitzel is right.
- 24 October 2004
- Bragging Surcharge
- I visited Kim Smiths studio, and noticed she had an innovative price structure for a large map of Paris she was offering for sale.
$240.if you show me where you stayed
$360.if you show me where you lived
I thought she was very clever to include a boasting surcharge; I may do the same should I ever try to sell something.
- 25 October 2004
- Beyond Talent
- Having run out of ways to inflict new flavors of pain with my bass, I bought a synthesizer with hundreds of different instruments to play through my new six-speaker amplified music system.
I didnt know you had any musical talent, Dr. Allard remarked when he saw me lugging the huge crate up the laboratory stairs.
I used to, I replied, but Im beyond that now.
- 26 October 2004
- Veterinary School Tales
- Tia told me incredible stories about a friend whos studying veterinary medicine. One assignment involved doing a rush autopsy on a fermenting elephant using chain saws. (The procedure had to be completed rapidly because the elephant died on the hottest day of the year.)
And then there was the assignment of putting gerbils in a blender. I dont recall why the student had to purée the gerbils, but I suppose it doesnt matter. If memory servesalways a dubious propositionI believe Dr. Science explained that Avogadros Number was the number of liquified moles needed to fill a one-liter beaker. I recall that the number was thirty-one point something.
- 27 October 02004
- Overly Cautious Dating
- Frances sent me this statement from a Long Now Foundation publication: The Foundation uses five digit dates, the extra zero is to avoid the decamillenium bug which will occur in about 8,000 years.
I used the five-digit date for todays entry, but dont plan on ever using it again. In some eight-thousand years Ill have been dead for some eight-thousand years, and every trace of me will be forgotten. And, in the unlikely event Im wrong, computers might actually work reliably by then.
- 28 October 2004
- The Belly of the Breast
- Pedro gave Larry Sultans photographs of pornography film sets a bad review.
I think he wanted to be a voyeur, but didnt have the guts to pull it off, Pedro said dismissively. He pretended to show us another world, but I never got the feeling I was in the belly of the breast.
I think that says it all, I agreed.
- 29 October 2004
- Picklesimer Reality
- I just read some of your recent drivel, Rachel announced. You sure are getting lazy.
What are you talking about? I asked. You know Ive always been lazy.
I was referring to making up a name like Phyllis Picklesimer to get a cheap laugh, Rachel replied.
That was her real name! I protested. Ill never be creative enough to come up with a name like Phyllis Picklesimer.
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©2004 David Glenn Rinehart