Chuck (my opponent)
(artist's impression)

Chuck’s campaign manager reacting to David’s offer
(artist’s impression)

My political advisors urged me to use an illustration emphasising the size of my opponent’s ears, but I refused. This campaign is about issues, not my opponent’s myriad embarrassments, failures, and other public humiliations too numerous to mention.

I’m taking the high road in this campaign. No matter how desperate my opponent becomes as he slips further and further in the polls, I will not resort to the sort of mud slinging that would leave embarrassing grass stains on the pyjamas of my reputation.

Chuck’s Challenge

I believe that the more you learn about Chuck, the more likely you are to vote for David. That’s why I’m making an unprecedentedly generous offer to Chuck:

Chuck, this page is yours. Just provide me the information you want the voters to see, and I’ll see that it’s promptly published.

Giving my opponent a public forum is just another example of my five-F rule in practice: be fair, firm, facile, fun, and fantastic.