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Weak XXXII

7 August 2010

No. 8.171 (cartoon)

Have a nice day!

I’ve made other plans.

8 August 2010

Eskimo Sandwiches and Eskimo Ice Cream

When I was a child, I used to enjoy an “Eskimo sandwich,” a slab of ice cream squished between a couple of cookies. When I was quite a bit older and perhaps a modicum wiser, I learned that the native people of Alaska, the Aleuts and Yupics, hate being called Eskimos.

Thus, I was suspicious when I read a review of the fattiest foods in the United States that mentioned, “Eskimo ice cream,” which is allegedly made from reindeer fat, seal oil, salmonberries, and blackberries. I suspect this is another slur on the native Alaskans, an unfounded suggestion that they can’t cook.

Reindeer fat and seal oil are the hallmarks of inferior chefs around the world. Pasta not very enticing? Add some reindeer fat. Bland soup? Blend in a little seal oil. And so on. To suggest that Aleut and Yupic cooks would combine reindeer fat and seal oil is simply beyond the pale.

But: muktuk deep fried in walrus oil, that’s another story!

9 August 2010

Fraudulent Expense Accounts Lead to Dismissal?!

Mark Hurd was forced to resign as the head of Hewlett-Packard after an investigation revealed he filed false expense accounts. Even though he got forty million dollars or so in his severance package, that still doesn’t make the firing right. Submitting inflated—if not completely bogus—expense claims is what makes the United States what it is.

If fraudulent expense accounts are now punishable crimes, what will be the target of the next witch hunt? Fictitious tax returns? Where will it end?

10 August 2010

Elaborate Dinosaur Hoax?

I can’t believe what I just read: triceratops never existed, ever! And that bombshell exploded in my brain soon after I learned that there never was such a thing as a brontosaurus, either.

I can’t believe that I’m witnessing so many dinosaurs going extinct within my lifetime. It make makes me wonder if the Flintstones documentaries weren’t all part of some elaborate hoax.

11 August 2010

Into the Sun

Evelyn told me that a friend of hers is working on a top secret NASA project: a manned mission to the sun.

“That sounds improbable,” I replied. “I’m fairly certain that the sun gets really, really hot.”

“That’s why they’re traveling at night,” Evelyn explained.

It still sounds like an insane plan to me, but it just might work.

12 August 2010

Extra-Crispy

I’m feeling extra-crispy this morning. And that’s a problem, since I have no idea what “extra-crispy” means.

Things may become clearer as the day progresses, if indeed it does. But I, for one, doubt it.

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©2010 David Glenn Rinehart