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Weak XXXIV

20 August 2015

No. 2,213 (cartoon)

I wish I wasn’t such an idiot.

We all do.

21 August 2015

The Worst Context for Art

I generally distrust artists and would-be artists who only use a singe name, but I’ll make an exception for Banksy. I recently read an interview with him in which he said something so blindingly obvious that I’m surprised that I’d never heard it before.

“I think a museum is a bad place to look at art; the worst context for art is other art.”

I wonder how much art would look like art outside of a museum context, i.e., seen in a situation where one isn’t told one is looking at art? The only person who would be interested in the answer to that question is someone who can’t form her or his own opinions. I suppose that’s why I’m surrounded by marketing messages targeted at young people who are still ignorant and/or malleable.

22 August 2015

Such Good Friends

Jana was complaining at great length how much Jasmin annoys her. She took a break from her harangue to admit that she probably annoys Jasmin every bit as much.

“No wonder you’re such good friends,” I responded, “you have so much in common.”

Jana didn’t know how to interpret that remark; that’s why she and I remain such good friends.

23 August 2015

(Not) Eating Out

Florian asked me what restaurants I regularly patronize. I explained that I rarely eat out because I prefer to share meals with friends at my studio or eat at their homes. There aren’t many dishes I can’t approximate to the satisfaction of my crude palate, so why hire cooks, a dining room, and a waiter? That, plus I prefer the relaxed atmosphere of eating in a home instead of in a commercial establishment.

“Why don’t you just admit that you’re too cheap to go to a restaurant?” he asked.

“Not at all,” I protested. “I can afford to eat out whenever I want.”

I didn’t add that one of the reasons I’m so relatively affluent is because I rarely go out to eat; that seems self-evident.

24 August 2015

I Must Be Bored

Rosalind gave me a counterfeit bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale. The casual observer might have been hoodwinked by the illustration of Newcastle upon Tyne on the label, but the fine print on the back of the bottle told the real story: the fake ale is cooked up at the Tadcaster Brewery in Tadcaster, England.

The perfidious charlatans conducting the marketing scam are obviously contemptuous of anyone stupid enough to be swindled by their hoax, so I wasn’t surprised to find a mocking message on the inside of the bottle cap: You must be bored.

The alleged ale, the color of weak tea, tasted like bland beer because it was. Barely.

Feh.

25 August 2015

Inevitable Hangovers

Oliver shared the results of a Dutch study that concluded that none of the popular ways of mitigating the effects of drinking too much alcohol are effective. Eating greasy food? Nope. Drinking lots of water? Negatory. Drinking more alcohol? Even that doesn’t work.

“I guess there’s no alternative to waking up with a hangover every morning,” Oliver concluded.

“People who don’t drink too much don’t get hangovers,” I replied.

Oliver shrugged and opened another bottle of wine.

“I guess there’s no alternative to waking up with a hangover every morning,” Oliver repeated.

Although I’m a very empathetic person, people suffering from repeated self-inflicted wounds get no sympathy from me.

26 August 2015

Adriana’s Banana

Hoo boy, did I ever make a mistake when I talked about collecting the peels of bananas I’d eaten. Several of my friends have since offered me their banana peels, but I had to decline their contributions since the fruit wasn’t masticated to my exacting standards.

Adriana presented me with an interesting aesthetic dilemma this morning when she asked me if I wanted the remainder of her banana. (We enjoyed a large brunch, and she couldn’t eat the whole thing.) I concluded that there was enough fruit left for me to consume to my satisfaction, so I did, then claimed the peel as my own.

I’ve never collaborated with anyone on an art project, and I’m not about to start now.

27 August 2015

Five Presidio Block L Doors

My friends are tired of looking at my photographs of things that are very similar yet different. Given my low entertainment threshold, such images still please me so I made more of them: Five Presidio Block L Doors.

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©2015 David Glenn Rinehart