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Weak XLIV

30 October 2015

No. 2,113 (cartoon)

I have no illusions.

Then you have nothing.

31 October 2015

Perfidious Periodicals

A local publication that once was a more or less acceptable newspaper has devolved into an Internet site featuring an endless stream of annoying advertisements, celebrity trivia, and sensationalist exaggerations.

As an example of the latter, here’s a recent headline: “Man saves dog from mountain lion in his underwear.” I read the article, and found that the mountain lion was not wearing the man’s underwear. The feline was, in fact, naked.

I can’t understand why I waste my time even glancing at such perfidious periodicals. I fear that I may be as stupid as I really am.

1 November 2015

Daylight Savings [sic] Time

Henry David Thoreau said, “I cannot make my days longer so I strive to make them better.” It’s too bad he didn’t live long enough to experience the Daylight Savings [sic] Time era. Of course, no one’s saving any daylight, but today is twenty-five hours long.

I’m not one to complain even though I do, so I enjoyed the extra hour of darkness and strove to make it better.

2 November 2015

Effective Rain Gear

Most meteorologists are predicting a very wet winter, so I spent over a hundred dollars on waterproof gear to protect me from the rain. I’m pleased to report that it works perfectly.

Last night I went to a party at Vencentio’s studio. It was supposed to be a dry night (the weather, not the event), but I got soaked in a deluge cycling back to my place, where my wet weather gear was safely stored. Today I rode around all day with the new clothes in my backpack, so of course there wasn’t a drop of precipitation.

This proves that as long as I keep my protective clothing with me, the weather will always be dry. Rain gear really works!

3 November 2015

2346 Fulton Street

A few days ago, I photographed interesting shadows on an apartment building. I liked the resulting image. I’ll probably never show it to anyone after today, or ever look at it again. I’m wondering why I made it, but I won’t since it’s a slippery slope from there to the logical conclusion, why do anything?

4 November 2015

Raccoon Attack!

A pack of a dozen raccoons attacked a couple of Irish visitors a few blocks from here recently. Why the rabid beasts are prejudiced against the Irish is a mystery. I wonder if the raccoons have excellent ancestral memories, and bitterly recall being forced to leave en masse during the horrific Irish Potato Famine of 1845-1852?

I’ve always avoided raccoons, wildebeests, and any other mammals that hold a grudge over generations.

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©2015 David Glenn Rinehart