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Weak XIII
26 March 2025
No. 4,576 (cartoon)
I’m in a horrible state.
Mississippi?
No, at least I’m not suicidal.
27 March 2025
Law, Justice, and Money
As a wise friend advised decades ago, “When you go to court you get law, and not necessarily justice.” That’s why I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Abhishek MR, a man in Bangalore, successfully sued a movie theatre for forcing him to sit through thirty minutes of advertisements instead of beginning the film on time. The judge awarded damages for his wasted time, mental distress, and legal costs.
The outcome isn’t particularly relevant to me, since the agony of being ambushed by ads drove me from the cinema a long time ago. Despite the favorable outcome, this wasn’t such a good news story. In India, it’s both customary and legal to project fifteen minutes of ads halfway through the film.
I’m surprised the prima donna directors allow their films to be distributed in India. Probably has something to do with it being home to more people than any other country in our solar system.
28 March 2025
Bodice or Child’s Vest
Herminie Cadolle created the first-ever bra in 1889.
That line appeared in a 9 February news story that’s still news to me. I’m not at all surprised that a woman invented such a fashionable and utilitarian undergarment, but it’s such an obvious idea that I would have thought someone else would have created it a century or two before she did. After all, breasts have been around as long as our species has.
(Now for a semantic twist, I see that brassiere comes from the French brassière, “bodice or child’s vest.”)
I wonder what other things we take for granted as part of our semi-modern world didn’t exist a century and a half ago? Perhaps another journalist will publish another similarly surprising story, but in the meantime I’m too busy making stuff up and writing it down to deal with pesky facts.
29 March 2025
The Great Wall of China and the Moon
Colleen is back from China with many stories to tell. She’s serving drinks at her studio while she regales us, so no one’s complaining.
“Did you know that you can see the Great Wall of China from the moon?” she asked.
“I can see the moon from my bedroom window,” Colin replied, “so what’s your point?”
I came to Colleen’s rescue (not that she needed it) by telling Colin about the old Chinese proverb: “A tree with no leaves reveals no mysteries.”
“I’ll drink to that!” she added cheerfully.
That worked out well. Even Colin wasn’t dumb enough to debate an old Chinese proverb, even one I just made up.
30 March 2025
Hästens 2000T
Caira Blackwell is a mattress reviewer with an impressive little resumé; she’s tested fifty of ’em for august publications including Narratively, Nylon, and Okayplayer.
She wrote a rave evaluation about the Hästens 2000T: “After six months of sleeping on the 2000T, every night I crawl into bed, it feels like falling in love all over again. I get a rush as I slide in between the sheets, and sometimes as I snuggle in, I can’t help but kick my legs in excitement, like a little kid.”
After a rapturous description like that, you probably wouldn’t be surprised that it’s by far her favorite mattress ever, especially after learning that it cost seventy-five thousand dollars. It’s not perfect, though: it needs to be regularly massaged and recalibrated.
I enjoyed her commentary, especially since it left me with no desire to sleep on one, let alone buy one. I’ve never owned a mattress, and that’s the point: I can and do sleep anywhere. If there’s any envy involved, the people who need to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a mattress that needs constant maintenance in order to sleep soundly might wish they were in my shoes ... or snoozing on my comfy couch.
31 March 2025
Our Legacy
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.” Woody Allen
I’m not concerned about leaving a physical legacy either. I’ll remember and be remembered by the people I love until we’re all dead, and that’s good enough for me.
I’m rethinking that now after reading a book review of, Discarded, How Technofossils Will Be Our Ultimate Legacy. Sarah Gabbott and Jan Zalasiewicz make a strong argument that all the crap we dumpfrom Everests of plastics, cheap clothes, electronics, and even chicken boneswill be fossilized and preserved eternally. (Or until the sun explodes in billions of years, whichever comes first.)
I’m not interested in preserving my artwork, but, if I was, my late friend Al Weber told me how to do it when we were discussing archival processing for photographs. “Make it ugly and will last forever.”
1 April 2025
Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
What’s the source of the Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich headline? A leaked message from a member of Congress? An Alternative für Deutschland press release? A fundraising appeal?
All are disturbingly plausible, but the correct answer is The Onion, America’s Finest News Source. I’m ignoring April Fool’s Day because now that reality has merged with satire, everything seems foolish.
2 April 2025
Indecisive Moment
When Henri Cartier-Bresson published The Decisive Moment in 1952, he spawned annoying generations of unimaginative Cartoonish-Bressons. That’s what I had in mind when I made Indecisive Moment. With a Leica. On a tripod.
This piece is problematic in several ways. First, it requires a knowledge of photographic history, hence my introduction. Any alleged art that needs to be explained is off to a bad start.
Second, it requires careful attention to see that the words didn’t come from a computer; someone applied each character to the wall from a sheet of rub-on letters. The difference is very subtle, and can’t be discerned in a small reproduction on the Internet.
And finally, it’s most unlikely that anyone born in the last fifty years would have heard of rub-on letters.
Coming next weak: more of the same.
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