Last Weak  |  Index  |  Next Weak

Weak XXXIX

24 September 2022

No. 7,666 (cartoon)

I hope you get better soon.

I’m not sick.

But you are barely mediocre.

25 September 2026

The Ten Most Popular American Street Names

Did you ever wonder what the most popular American street names are? That was just a rhetorical question; I’m not interested in what you think. But now that you didn’t ask, here’s the top ten list I found on the Internet:

Second
Third
First
Fourth
Park
Fifth
Main
Sixth
Seventh
Eighth

And here’s another top ten list I found on the Internet:

Main
Second
Third
First
Oak
Fifth
Elm
Pine
Church
Maple

I’m so pleased I can always get my questions answered immediately—and for free!—on the Internet. They’re frequently the wrong answers, but the price is right.

26 September 2026

Artist and Undertaker

When someone at a party asks, “What do you do?” I usually reply, “About what?”

That usually shuts ’em up good, and if not, I respond, “I’m an artist and an undertaker.” Only one person has ever asked me to elaborate, and when she did, I added, “I undertake art projects and usually end up burying them.”

27 September 2026

Genesis Bedspreads

Here’s my favorite headline d’jour:

In an $80 Motel Room, a Discovery to Shed Light on the Origins of Life

I didn’t read the article; I didn’t have to. I’ve been in enough cheap motels to know that the bedspreads are fertile breeding grounds for myriad undiscovered forms of life. I suppose the reason scientists keep scouring the ocean floor instead of motel bedding is that the research grants are much more lucrative.

28 September 2026

Archiving Chronicles, Part V

The more I examine the scans of my old prints, the more problems I discover.

I’ve always preferred matte paper over glossy; there’s no glare and no texture. At least that’s what I always believed, but my scanner is saying something else. There are little white speckles in all the dark areas. It’s not dust; it’s more like digital dandruff. It appears that I’m looking at the texture of the allegedly smooth paper.

I might not have that problem if I used some fancy software to eradicate the blemishes, but the proposition gives me yet another archiving headache.

29 September 2026

An Audience of One

Cecelia asked me why I bothered making high-resolution photographs, since no one but me could see the intricate details on my large computer monitors. She added that I should be taking my viewers into consideration.

“Thanks for your perspectives,” I replied, “but I really do try to satisfy everyone in my audience.”

“That’s not possible,” she countered.

“Not at all,” I explained. “I’m my entire audience, so satisfying myself is merely fatiguing, not impossible.”

“So you don’t care about anyone else?” she asked.

“Of course I do, but let ’em figure out how to amuse themselves,” I suggested. “That has to be more satisfying than anyone else’s work.”

30 September 2026

Fifty-Five-Year-Old Music

It’s been fifty-five years since the Rolling Stones released Sticky Fingers. The surviving members of the band are still performing, and the music has held up well, as have other notable albums from 1971. (But as an olde person, I would say that, wouldn’t I?)

This seems normal, but, from a historical perspective, this may be a new development. I wonder how many people were listening to music from 1916 when Sticky Fingers appeared in record stores? My guess, based on not a scintilla of data, is from zero percent to none. On the other hand, symphony audiences are still listening to works composed centuries ago. Go figger.

After a few minutes of thought, I’ve reached a familiar conclusion: I don’t care.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

Last Weak  |  Index  |  Next Weak
©2026 David Glenn Rinehart