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An Artist’s Notebook of Sorts

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Weak XXIX

nothing

17 July 2013

gratuitous image

No. 25 (cartoon)

If less is more, then absence is perfection.

Please disappear.

So I was right?

18 July 2013

Dead Bird in the Sky!

I like my friends to be smarter than me, but not by orders of magnitude. Willy is a perfect example of such a pal. He’s a brilliant engineer; I’ve never asked him an information technology question that he couldn’t answer. His intelligence is offset by occasional lapses into the depths of stupidity; that makes me feel much less inept.

Willy and I were walking down the beach along the Pacific today when I spotted a grotesquely distorted dead bird.

“Check out the dead seagull!” I told Willy.

“Where?” Willy asked as he scanned the sky.

19 July 2013

Roguey

Fiona’s getting married, and that’s a problem for her cat, Roguey. Fiona’s fiancée is allergic to felines, so she’s trying to find a new home for her faithful puss.

I know love can overwhelm one’s senses, but what could she be thinking?! Kicking out a cat to live with a man is a bad deal for everyone except the hombre. I’m sure Roguey will be fine, but I fear that it will be tears before bedtime for Fiona.

20 July 2013

Five-Color Tang?!

Thinking about visiting the Jibaozhai Museum in Jizhou?

Well, don’t.

Chinese authorities closed the museum after experts concluded that its forty-thousand ancient relics were fakes. Artifacts “from the time of the Yellow Emperor” (their adjective, not mine) were engraved with simplified Chinese characters only used within the last century. And the “Tang Dynasty” five-color porcelain vase? Negatory, good buddy; that technique wasn’t invented until centuries later during the Ming Dynasty.

Before jumping to conclusions, it’s always prudent to hear both side of the story.

Wei Yingjun, the museum’s primary consultant, admitted that the administraitors may not have filled out all of the government paperwork properly. On the other hand, the expert was “quite positive” that eighty or more of the objects in the museum’s collection were bona fide antiquities.

Wang Zonquan, the museum’s owner, invoked higher powers. “Even the gods cannot tell whether the exhibits are fake or not.” That seems like a dangerous thing to say should a god who can differentiate between the Tang and Ming Dynasties might be listening to the sleazy little scoundrel.

21 July 2013

Welcome to San Francisco!

Minnisha’s trying to buy a house in San Francisco, and it’s not easy. In addition to the ridiculously high prices, the real estate agents aren’t all that knowledgeable about anything except their commission structure.

She was touring a home in the Mission, and asked the realtor which direction was north, explaining that she didn’t want sunlight streaming into her bedroom in the morning.

“Does the sun rise in the north?”

Yep; that’s really what the real estate agent asked.

Minnisha informed her that the sun rose in the east, and has done so consistently for rather a very long time.

“I’m sorry,” the realtor replied, “I don’t keep up with all that astrological stuff.”

Minnisha bought the house, the real estate agent made over a hundred thousand dollars on the sale, and stupidity once again proved to be less of a handicap than one might think.

Welcome to San Francisco!

22 July 2013

gratuitous image

Gratuitous Photo of the Weak: Concrete Cuts

Utility company workers have been painting obscure symbols on the streets and sawing patterns in the concrete pavement in my neighborhood. I photographed one of their recent projects; the image was more aesthetically rewarding than most of the alleged art I’ve seen in recent years.

Stare.

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©2013 David Glenn Rinehart

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