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11 December 2011

No. 4,372 (cartoon)

Are you concerned about your future?

That’s not where I’m going.

12 December 2011

Physicists Announce Major Breakthrough

I read the headline, Physicists Announce Major Breakthrough, but didn’t read the accompanying article. I know little about contemporary physics; every time I try to get my head around dark matter and eleven dimensions—or was that parallel universes?—my little brain hurts.

13 December 2011

Gratuitous Photo of the Weak: Al Weber’s Darkroom

Visiting Al always feels like going back in time, although not all that far. It’s been a couple of decades since I’ve developed film or made a print in a darkroom, so it’s disconcerting to be back in an environment that seems so familiar yet so alien.

14 December 2011

The Mating Success of Unattractive Men

The Institute of Things We Already Knew has completed another predictable study that concluded that unattractive men think that beautiful women find them sexually desirable. Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin and Williams College ascribed the hallucinatory beliefs to evolutionary survival. Unappealing men who sat alone in their cave didn’t reproduce; ugly men who pursued women did.

The slothful scientists didn’t address the obvious question. Did the mating success of ugly men coincide with the discovery of alcohol and/or money?

Most likely.

15 December 2011

Alcohol-free, Whisky-flavored Drink in a Can

Earlier this year I noted—with more than a little abhorrence—that some charlatans were selling Scotch in a can. I thought things couldn’t get much worse, which is what I often think before things get worse.

ArKay, “a Florida-based beverage company,” is selling an alcohol-free, whisky-flavored drink in a can. Feh. I suppose I won’t have to wait long to see alcohol-free, whisky-flavored dehydrated crystals in little packets.

16 December 2011

England’s Golden Age

The English parliament abolished Christmas in 1647. The politicians reinstated it in 1660, an unfortunate move that began three and a half centuries of English decline.

Blimey, and bah humbug.

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©2011 David Glenn Rinehart