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Weak XV

9 April 2012

No. 4,206 (cartoon)

I love to see tears of joy on your cheeks.

They’re tears of pain.

Same thing, only better.

10 April 2012

Kalamazoo?!

Duane was incredulous when I told him that I once lived in Kalamazoo, briefly. He insisted that Kalamazoo was a fictitious place. I offered to show the city’s location on a map, but he said he’d never trust anything he saw on the Internet. I put on the Glenn Miller recording of “I’ve Got a Gal in Kalamazoo,” but Duane insisted that was just a metaphor for unrequited love. I pointed out that I did in fact have a gal in Kalamazoo once upon a time, but he wasn’t persuaded. He maintained that the idea of a place named Kalamazoo was too preposterous to even consider, and that was that.

11 April 2012

Gratuitous Photo of the Weak: Amy’s Rehearsal

Amy’s a brilliant musician; I love her work. I photograph her as an excuse to visit her rehearsals, my camera provides the entrée my musical abilities never will. I make unremarkable albeit flattering photos she doesn’t need, and everyone’s happy.

12 April 2012

A Refreshing Audiophile Experience

I travel with a small pair of speakers that sound marginally better than the puny units inside my computer. I turned them off this afternoon to listen to the deluge outside my window. The rain sounds real and lifelike, the equal of the finest recording. It’s a refreshing audiophile experience. Or, more accurately, it would be if I was one.

13 April 2012

In Accord with Nature

I feel directionless, perhaps even lost today. It’s happened before, and it will happen again. Whenever I have to rationalize doing nothing, I always find John Cage’s perspective helpful.

“The highest purpose is to have no purpose at all. This puts one in accord with nature, in her manner of operation.”

14 April 2012

Dave’s Gourmet Sauce

Amanda and I had lunch today at an unfamiliar taqueria in the Mission. The burritos were fine, but the fresh salsa was lacking in octane, thus greatly diminishing the culinary experience. To the proprietors’ credit, they provided a selection of bottled salsa to address the capsaicin deficiency. I chose Dave’s Gourmet Sauce, which proved to be, well, interesting.

I poured a large glob of Dave’s on my next bite, and found the result remarkably efficacious. Finally, I was in the desired state of physical pain. Hooray!

After getting suitably fired up, we continued our stroll, or at least Amanda did. I started to feel lightheaded, then woozy, then unable to walk. The sensation was not unlike the feeling of quaffing a liter of whisky, even though I had nothing except water to drink. I sat on a stoop with my head between my legs, trying to maintain consciousness.

Amanda offered to provide first aid by buying a carbonated cola drink for me at a corner store. I explained that I never drink that vile sugar water and wasn’t going to start now.

“But that’s what they do in France!” she protested.

We argued about the efficaciousness of carbonated drinks; perhaps it was the mental stimulation of such an inane squabble that restored my vital juices to their pre-Dave’s balance. Or, perhaps not.

I’m going to buy a bottle of Dave’s Gourmet Sauce and experiment. What could go wrong?

15 April 2012

Pleasant Dreams

I fell asleep tis afternoon to the gentle roar of angels rutting and mating this afternoon. Pleasant dreams ensued.

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©2012 David Glenn Rinehart