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Weak XLI

9 October 2012

No. 4,419 (cartoon)

I don’t know what to think.

I think you should think.

You think?

10 October 2012

Omelet sans Cricket(s)

Sonja said my recent work was “creeping down the wrong path, and sideways at that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“No matter how loud the sound of a cricket’s legs, a blind insect will never see,” she explained without explaining anything at all.

“But between the legs come the eggs, no? Is that sound or unsound?” I replied.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“It means we shouldn’t talk rubbish about cricket or any other boring sport,” I concluded. “Would you like an omelet?”

We enjoyed an omelet with spinach, feta cheese, onions, and mushrooms (but no crickets). And that was greasily that.

11 October 2012

More Great Medical News

I’ve said it before, I’m saying it now, and I’ll say it again: the “secret” to good health is only reading good news. And so, I was most pleased to read this excerpt from a lengthy report.

A new study shows that the number of adults under fifty-five who suffered a stroke climbed significantly over the past decade.

I was younger than fifty-five for most of that period, so I must be healthy. I generate my own reality, thus I can create my health.

12 October 2012

But How Does It Smell?

Some people whinge about public servants, but not me. Were it not for Gregory Urquiaga, a photographer employed by the University of California, I would never have seen a photograph of Kabang, the hero dog of the Philippines. And, thanks to my tax dollars at work, I can reproduce it freely in this august journalistic organ.

The canine reportedly saved the lives of two young girls by intercepting a rudderless motorcycle. The canine lived, but its snout and upper jaw did not. So how does the bowser smell without a nose?

Awful!

13 October 2012

Gratuitous Photo of the Weak: Porcelain Galleries

I actually took this photograph a few days ago after I photographed Duchamp and Donati’s Prière de toucher. I wonder whether the “Porcelain Galleries” refer to Duchamp/Mutt’s Fountain and its many derivatives, the toilets, or some boring old Chinese Wedgwood tedium. I don’t know because I didn’t look because I didn’t care.

Yes, this is really the photo of last weak; I cheated. Who cares? Cheaters win. If you don’t believe me, ask Lance Armstrong.

14 October 2012

An Unusual Approach to Filmmaking

I live in a vacuum breathing my own fumes, so I’m usually unaware of what other purportedly creative people are doing. That’s why I was surprised when Selena showed me a short film by a German artist whose name I can’t remember. I was struck by the wild technique she used.

When I make a film, I stick the camera on a tripod, point it at the subject, start recording, then stop recording a minute or so later. I add a title in the beginning, close with my name at the end, and I’m done. The German filmmaker, however, used a few seconds of this scene, a few seconds of that scene, a few seconds of something else, et cetera, then spliced them all together. Wow!

It never occurred to me to make a short film out of a lot of tiny films. I guess I don’t have to make a film in one unedited take after all!

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©2012 David Glenn Rinehart