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Weak XXXV

28 August 2013

No. 2,793 (cartoon)

Why are you avoiding me like the plague?

Because you are.

29 August 2013

Microbrains for Zombies?

Researchers at the Institute of Molecular Biotechnology of the Austrian Academy of Sciences are growing pea-sized human brains. The wee organs are incapable of thought. I think that the scientists are doing a lot of unnecessary work, since there are already billions of people stumbling around the planet with such brains.

I suppose if you had enough of the minuscule brains you could placate rapacious and ravenous zombies, but that’s neither here nor there.

30 August 2013

From Cuneiform to Pixels

I’m staring into a sea of over seven million glowing pixels spread across three computer monitors and trying to come up with something to say. I suppose this is the 2013 version of the blank sheet of paper. Some Mesopotamian was probably looking at a blank clay tablet six thousand years ago thinking more or less what I’m thinking now.

As if I was thinking anything at all; clearly I am not.

31 August 2013

Jorge’s Drinking Problem

Jorge told me that his most recent romantic relationship didn’t work out because of his drinking problem.

“But Jorge,” I replied, “you don’t drink.”

“I drink milk and orange juice all the time,” he corrected.

“So what’s the problem with that?” I asked.

“I can’t resist opening the refrigerator and drinking milk and orange juice straight out of the container,” he admitted.

“So what’s the problem with that?” I repeated.

“For some reason, women get insanely upset when they see that. It’s fine if I have my tongue in their mouth,” he explained “but if I take a swig of juice from the bottle a few minutes later that’s good for a one-way ticket home. I don’t get it.”

“Empirical evidence would certainly suggest that you don’t get it,” I agreed.

I brought him a liter of orange juice and a glass and suggested that he carefully consider what changes he could possibly make to avoid seriously annoying his hypothetical future girlfriend.

1 September 2013

David, Dick, and Dan

Seymor and I were lamenting the recent death of David Frost. I always liked him for his satirical work, notably That Was the Week That Was. Like most Americans, Seymor only knew about him because of his interviews with Richard Nixon.

The discussion of Frost and Nixon lead Seymor to note that he hadn’t head any broadcast commentary from Daniel Schorr in quite some time.

“He died over three years ago,” I noted.

“I’m relieved,” Seymor replied, “I was afraid it was even more National Public Radio editorial ineptitude.”

2 September 2013

Gratuitous Photo of the Weak: Forest Delivery Truck

I came across a forest delivery truck in the Presidio, but I couldn’t figure out whether it was loading or unloading the forest. I didn’t ask the driver. He was skiving off, and I didn’t want to interrupt his nap.

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©2013 David Glenn Rinehart