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Weak XV

9 April 2014

No. 4,973 (cartoon)

Our love is fading.

We aborted it before we conceived it.

10 April 2014

An Unsurprising Outcome

When I was young, I never imagined that I’d have millions of dollars in the bank, and find myself jetting between my studios in New York, Paris, San Francisco, and Tokyo. And so, I wasn’t surprised when nothing like that every happened.

11 April 2014

Clean Bedding, Lucky Day!

Imelda just rejected another would-be suitor. That’s the bad news; the good news is that there’s another entertaining story as a consolation prize.

Bachelor X was doing pretty well until he wasn’t. He informed her that she had perfect timing, and that she’d “gotten lucky.” When she asked him what that remark meant, he explained that he changed his bedding “every third girlfriend,” and that she could look forward to clean sheets.

And that was the end of their nascent relationship.

I told her she was perhaps being too hasty; he exhibited better housekeeping hygiene than some guys I know, all of whom are inexplicably single.

12 April 2014

Scheduling Priorities

I need to adjust the saddle on my bicycle, tighten a screw on the rear reflector, and lubricate the chain. That shouldn’t take more than five minutes, but somehow I haven’t been able to find the time to do that in the last few days. Similarly, it can take ages to find the right opportunity to wash the moldy dishes piling up in the sink.

Conversely, I have no problem finding yet another half hour to scan irrelevant news headlines on the Internet, leisurely eat another slice of pizza when I’m no longer hungry, or otherwise fritter away the last remaining hours of my life.

There’s more to life than productivity, and I’m still looking for it, albeit not very assiduously.

13 April 2014

Postnatal Abortion Considerations

First Jerrod Metsker, and now Megan Huntsman. I really must stop assuming people are guilty of heinous crimes because they didn’t photograph well immediately following their arrest.

Metsker was charged with raping and strangling a nine-year-old girl; the Utah woman is accused of giving birth to seven children over a ten-year period, then putting each one inside individual cardboard boxes inside her Pleasant Grove garage. I wonder if she made a moral distinction between prenatal and postnatal abortions?

I’m not one to judge. I can remember when even my lovely, loving mother threatened me with a sixty-ninth trimester abortion. Since I’ve been exposed to some obnoxious, surly teens since then, I think that was an understandable warning.

If I ever get arrested, I’ll bribe the police to make and release a flattering mugshot.

14 April 2014

Ungraphic Sex

“You write a lot about sex, and often very graphically.”

That was the generous setup that Junot Díaz gave to Samuel R. Delany during a recent conversation.

“Have you ever had ungraphic sex?” Delany replied. “I haven’t. How do you have ungraphic sex?”

I liked the way Delany turned the tables on the interviewer by answering a statement with a rhetorical question. At least I think it was a rhetorical question, but it’s a big mistake to make assumptions, especially when it comes to sex.

15 April 2014

LZ 129 Correction

Warren Hibbard, Whereabouts Unknown, Internetlandia, sent me a kind note to correct the entry I made here on 6 May 2007.

You noted that the Hindenburg airship was a Nazi airship. The truth is—not really.

LZ 129 was built by the Zeppelin company in 1936 and was the largest airship of the era. Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels wanted to take advantage of that and told the company’s director, Dr. Hugo Eckener, to change the name to Adolf Hitler. Eckener refused. As a compromise, Goebbels ordered the Nazi symbols painted on the tail fins. It was simply a propaganda scheme. Neither the Zeppelin company nor the airship had any direct connection with the Nazi party.

I wonder how many Germans stood up to the Nazis after 1936?

I’m most grateful for Mr. Hibbard’s factual update. Such meticulous attention to accuracy is the main the reason this Internet site is the seventh most trusted source of knowledge in the world.

You’re most welcome.

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©2014 David Glenn Rinehart