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Weak XXXI

30 July 2015

No. 5,033 (cartoon)

A priest, an alcoholic, and a child molester walk into a bar ...

Was he alone?

31 July 2015

Happy Birthday to It!

I like observing anniversaries, especially those with big, round numbers. And so, now that the party is finally over, I can report that stare.com was twenty years old yesterday.

Happy birthday to it!

1 August 2015

Learning from Armadillos

I was dismayed to hear that a Texas man ended up in the hospital after firing his gun at an armadillo at three in the morning. One of the bullets ricocheted off the critter’s exoskeleton and into the gunman’s jaw.

I’m not particularly worried about the man’s injury; it was certainly painful but not life threatening. Even had he died I would have chalked it up to Darwinian selection. No, I was annoyed because that’s the second time in less than four months that a Southerner has been hit by a bullet he fired that bounced off one of the prehistoric creature.

Feh. A once original idea is no longer unusual, and may be becoming part of the dark Southern landscape.

Oh well, at least the news account I read did provide one bit of new information: eating armadillos has led to leprosy in humans.

This story has two lessons. First, don’t fire your gun at anything covered in armor unless you’re using armor-piercing bullets. And, most importantly, don’t try to kill what you’re not going to eat.

2 August 2015

A Pretty Good Photograph

I made a pretty good photograph of people crabbing on a Fort Mason pier this afternoon. Now what?

I don’t know what to do with it. It’s a purely retinal image, with no conceptual dimension, so it doesn’t really fit in with most of the work I’ve done this millennium. Instead, it looks like it’s part of the aesthetic I was exploring almost forty years ago. I have no idea whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing; it may be both or neither.

I’ll show it to a few friends and probably forget about it; that’s photography!

3 August 2015

Common Denominators

Niklas pointed to the base of Coit Tower and said he knew a woman who lived in a flat there. I mentioned that I once had dinner with a woman whose name I couldn’t recall who lived in the general vicinity of the homes he targeted with his finger, and wondered aloud if it might be the same person.

“What was she like?” he asked.

“All I remember is that she had too much money, an unpleasant air of entitlement, and lots of ostentatious possessions,” I replied.

“That’s not very helpful,” he concluded. “You just described over half of the wealthy people in the city.”

Niklas was right; clichés always come from somewhere. I’m fortunate that my wealthy friends possess large amounts of financial assets but aren’t possessed by them.

Full disclosure: I am extraordinarily rich, especially because I appreciate that there are many currencies that are much more valuable than the United States dollar.

4 August 2015

Deunclarification

Elias sent a terse reply to my update: “Please deunclarify.”

Another day, another word. If that’s true, I should have twenty-one thousand seven hundred and fifty-nine words in my vocabulary. I’ll never know whether or not that’s correct, especially since I may add another word tomorrow.

5 August 2015

Louche World

Well my, this certainly is spooky, isn’t it? ’twas only yesterday that I talked about adding a word a day to my vocabulary. This afternoon, Sophia sent a note thanking me for introducing her to my louche world. When I found the definition of the word in my dictionary, I was surprised that I hadn’t heard of it before.

I hope that the definition of “louche” is in your dictionary, too; my legal department says I can’t reprint it here without paying a seven-dollar royalty fee. I’m sorry, but such formalities just aren’t part of my louche world.

6 August 2015

This Looks Like This

I was walking near Mountain Lake at dusk when I saw a woman wearing a T-shirt with the words, “I look like this,” printed across her chest. Or perhaps the words were, “I don’t look like this.” I didn’t get a good look; staring in the general direction of any woman’s breasts is generally frowned upon, or worse.

But that’s neither here nor there.

I think labeling anything “This looks like this” or “This doesn’t look like this” could be the basis for at least one art project, probably more if I milk it.

It’s time to get to work! After a drink and a nap ...

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©2015 David Glenn Rinehart