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Weak XXIII

5 June 2017

No. 6,544 (cartoon)

What’s the problem?

Nothing; that’s the problem.

6 June 2017

Dead Duck Day

I was bombarded with press releases announcing that yesterday was the twenty-second annual Dead Duck Day. I ignored the festivities since I don’t believe that there’s anything to say about homosexual necrophiliac ducks that hasn’t been said before. And to mix metaphors, I think the Dutch are milking a dead horse compared to the depravity of penguins I noted before.

7 June 2017

OREiLLY AUTO

After almost a minute of exhaustive research, I discovered, “O’Reilly Automotive intends to be the dominant supplier of auto parts ...” I have no idea whether that represents delusions of adequacy, but it’s obviously a large corporation. And that’s why I’m pleased that its store a few blocks from me has been spared from bland corporate homogeneity.

The sign painter used a curious combination of upper and lower case letters to spell OREiLLY AUTO, which isn’t even the proper name of the company about which more in a sentence. Such gratuitous capitalization is popular these days, but this sign may be decades old. To continue on with my review, the painter omitted the apostrophe from “O’Reilly,” either through ignorance or economy.

I’m somewhat reticent to disclose my discovery. It seems unlikely, but some corporate apparatchik back at headquarters in Springfield, Missouri, might dispatch a team of painters to blandify the place.

8 June 2017

The Bamboo Report

My local weather forecast program on my handheld electronic thingie says it’s dry out, the weather radar shows there’s no precipitation, so why are the bamboo leaves reporting that there’s too much drizzle for a dry bike ride?

It’s a sad day when the natural world can’t keep pace with the latest technology.

9 June 2017

Abandon Ship

I decided to make graphic images generated by music, so I began with a test of something simple: Abandon Ship, a ten-second bugle call. I’d only heard it once before when the crew of the Greenpeace boat and I had to hurriedly evacuate when disaster struck. (We ran out of beer.)

I took a look at the first iteration and realized there would be no series of images: it was so good that I knew anything else I did would be of inferior quality. That’s why Abandon Ship is a series of one.

10 June 2017

Storage Revisited

Angelina said my photograph, Storage, was one of my best conceptual pieces. That struck me as odd; I thought it was on the other end of the aesthetic spectrum: a retinal work.

She argued convincingly that it was conceptual since virtually all of my photographs are stored in boxes or on digital media. Whew; now I don’t have to worry about getting a nasty letter from Ed Rusha; maybe he’ll even buy me a drink!

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©2017 David Glenn Rinehart