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23 July 2019

No. 6,776 (cartoon)

Hate isn’t the solution.

You’re not looking for the right problem.

24 July 2019

Rockridge Recipe No. I (Boiled Egg)

I’m holed up with the lovely Lizzie in Rockridge, California. (Technically, it’s not a city, but who cares?) Lizzie has many fine qualities but cooking isn’t one of them, so I decided to publish some simple recipes that any person with two brain cells to rub together can prepare. Boiled Egg, for example ...

Ingredient: one boiled egg

Preparation: boil

n.b. remove shell before eating

(from Three Rockridge Recipes)

25 July 2019

Fiona’s Grand Mal Rant

Oh dear, Fiona is having a grand mal rant. She’s bleating about how everyone’s peppering her with oppressive requests. Get a job! Visit your father! Stop getting drunk! And so on.

I suppose I triggered the latest tirade; I guess I shouldn’t have told her to zip up her pants.

26 July 2019

Rockridge Recipe No. II (Ramen)

Ramen is a staple of the student diet, but no education is needed to prepare this savory, unhealthy treat.

Ingredient: one block of ramen noodles

Preparation: add boiling water

(from Three Rockridge Recipes)

27 July 2019

Coulrophobiacs Riot

Never misunderestimate the power of a single clown. If you don’t believe me, just ask anyone who witnessed the bloody donnybrook on the Britannia cruise ship en route from Norway to England. The passengers rioted at the buffet; “alcohol was involved.” No surprises there!

The culprit: a clown who appeared as an unwelcome guest at a formal event. A journalist who had the misfortune of being on the cheap floating hotel reported, “There was blood everywhere.” Assailants injured half a dozen people with plates and pieces of furniture. Hampshire police arrested a couple from Essex when the ship docked.

And the clown? The clown got away; they always do.

28 July 2019

Rockridge Recipe No. III (Peanut Butter Sandwich)

I’m getting tired of publishing recipes, so I’ll go out with a bang with my most complicated one yet; it requires two ingredients!

Ingredients: one slice of bread, one dollop of peanut butter

Preparation: Spread peanut butter on bread

(from Three Rockridge Recipes)

29 July 2019

The Pitter-Patter of Flea-Bitten Feet

Minnisha told me she’s hearing the pitter-patter of tiny feet in her apartment and that she’s quite unhappy with the situation. She asked me what to do, but I have no idea how to track down the person who shipped her a sick puppy freight collect. With fleas and worms, even.

Bad doggie!

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©2019 David Glenn Rinehart