Last Weak  |  Index  |  Next Weak

Weak XI

13 March 2022

No. 5,051 (cartoon)

I’m on the road to the past.

You’ll never get there.

I hope not; the journey is the reward.

14 March 2022

Pi Day

I haven’t done any research—c’mon, who has time for that?—but I’m all but certain that William Shanks died a reasonably happy man in 1882. And understandably so, since he’d calculated pi to over seven hundred decimal places. (In 1944, D. F. Ferguson discovered that Shanks screwed up at the five hundred and twenty-seventh place. Oops!)

A few months ago, researchers at The University of Applied Sciences in Graubünden, Switzerland, accurately enumerated pi to almost sixty-three trillion decimal places. That may or may not be progress.

For Really Serious Mathematicians, the first forty digits of pi are enough to work out the circumference of the universe to within an atom or two, and that’s good enough for me. That’s why I’m celebrating this Pi Day with a toast or several to William Shanks, who told us more than we ever really needed to know about pi.

With apologies to the late Robert Broderick James McIntosh, cut the cake!

15 March 2022

We Need a New Mississippi

Toby Price, an assistant principal at Gary Road Elementary School in Mississippi, was fired for reading Dawn McMillan’s book, I Need a New Butt!, to young students.

I’m all for freedom of speech; there’s no reason not to have a learned discussion of derrières. But (that’s “but” with only one “t”) that’s not the problem. Mississippi has a literacy rate of only eighty-four percent, and it ain’t gonna get no better if teachers read stories to children instead of learnin’ the wee buggers to read on their own.

Let’s take a step back. We’re talking about Mississippi, so who cares? We need a new Mississippi!

16 March 2022

Dying from Nothing

“My great grandfather died from nothing,” Andrea claimed.

“That’s impossible,” I replied. “If he died of nothing, then it follows that nothing would kill him, thus he should have been immortal.”

“He’s dead, so he couldn’t be immortal!” she countered.

I may have had an even stooopider exchange in my life, but, if so, I can’t recall it. Thanks, Andrea!

17 March 2022

Better Buy Liquor

I was going to talk about my favorite corner booze shop, Better Buy Liquor, but then I looked at the calendar and noticed this is Saint Patrick’s Day. I’m fresh out of Irish whiskey and the store closes in less than an hour.

Off I go; that’s what I call brilliant marketing!

18 March 2022

Gris, Art, and Dogs

José Victoriano González-Pérez dba Juan Gris only touched dogs with his left hand. He wasn’t superstitious; he just wanted to be able to paint if one of the mongrels mangled him.

He also said, “The instant you know what the result will be, you are lost.”

The Spanish painter died almost ninety-five years ago, but those are still timely bits of advice for any artist.

You’re most welcome.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

Last Weak  |  Index  |  Next Weak
©2022 David Glenn Rinehart