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Weak XVII

24 April 2023

No. 8,134 (cartoon)

Madness takes its toll.

Is it still five euros?

It ain’t five baht.

25 April 2023

Cleaning for the Cleaners

I laughed when Brett said he’d be late for lunch because he wasn’t done cleaning for the housecleaners who were en route to his place. I’ll never understand why people feel compelled to clean up their home in order to make it presentable to the people they hired to do just that. I’m thirsty because Brett’s busy working to serve the people he hired to save him from cleaning; how can that be?

interrobang

I have more than enough money, so here’s a business idea for a lazy entrepreneur: start a precleaning company. There are lots of businesses that provide janitorial and cleaning services, but if Brett had contractors to clean his place for the Tidy Tina Housekeepers he hired we might already be ready for a second pint by now.

26 April 2023

The Importance of Editing

I was delighted to get a note from my friend Alessandor dba The Imp of Editing; that led me to take a gander at her Internet site. ’twould appear she really knows her stuff, although I’m not exactly sure what her stuff is.

She appears to be a cross between a yenta and a project manager, helping people with different skills work together on creative projects. To cite her marketing material, “Being self-sufficient is great, but the road to success is paved with collaboration.”

I suppose that depends on the definition of success. I appreciate Joseph Heller’s analysis of the pros and cons of success.

“Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis, and suicide. With failure comes failure.”

Heller was one clever son of a gun and then some, but, when it comes to artistic triumphs, I always find myself quoting Charles Horton Cooley: “An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one.”

As anyone reading this notebook will have noted, I could certainly use an editor. Maybe I’ll leave Alessandor enough money in my will to posthumorously edit my writing into readabilityness. I’d be her perfect client, one who never argues and pays in advance.

27 April 2023

Cameras and Violins

I’m from the midwest and Rhonda is not; that was obvious when she gauchely asked me how much my new camera and lenses cost.

“I don’t have my receipts handy,” I replied, “but I believe the number of dollars involved is not dissimilar to ten thousand.”

“Wow!” she enthused. “You must be a really good photographer!”

I shrugged modestly and changed the subject. (I have a lot about which to be modest.)

I appreciated the compliment, even if it was fallacious. I’m always amused how someone who spends ten thousand dollars on cameras must be an accomplished photographer, whereas someone who buys a ten thousand violin is the owner of an expensive fiddle.

28 April 2023

A Nice Little Drinking Story

Roscoe brought his friend Brian to my studio this afternoon. When I opened a bottle of wine, as is tradition, Brian asked for a little glass because he didn’t drink that much. He then went on to drink more than Roscoe and me combined.

Somewhere around the fourth bottle or so Brian insisted that he wasn’t much of a drinker but after only one or two drinks he turns into another person, and that person drinks a lot.

I don’t know if he was being serious or not, but, since it’s a nice little drinking story, who cares?

29 April 2023

Courtship, Texas Style

Erick Aguirre was enjoying an introductory dinner with a woman he met on the Internet when the waiter informed him that the restaurant had no parking lot attendant and that he’d given twenty dollars to an impostor. He excused himself, momentarily stepped outside, killed the scammer with a single shot from his pistol, then nonchalantly returned and resumed his meal without mentioning the murder.

That’s courtship, Texas style, I suppose.

Thanks to shoddy “journalism,” the important details remain a mystery. Did Aguirre get his Jackson back? Did he claim self-defense? Has the governor pardoned him yet? Will the couple enjoy another visit? Why would anyone live in Texas?

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©2023 David Glenn Rinehart