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Weak XLV

5 November 2023

No. 6,364 (cartoon)

I can read you like an open book.

I’m done with Braille.

Fuck off [in Braille]

6 November 2023

Marika’s Big Mistake

Marika told me she’s writing her first book.

Big mistake.

Exploring any creative endeavor is obviously a good idea, but telling anyone you’re working on a book is a rookie mistake. From now on, everyone she’s told will ask her every time they meet, “How’s the book coming along?”

I learned not to talk about work in progress decades ago, so even if I might have any projects in alleged gestation I ain’t sayin’ nothin’.

7 November 2023

No One Did It First

When it comes to art, no one did anything for the first time. I know that’s impossible, but it’s also true.

The Prado in Madrid has mounted an exhibit, Reversos (On the Reverse), featuring a look at the back of famous paintings. It had been done before.

A dozen years ago I wrote about making my new work, Looking at the Versos of Photographs: Eleven Pictures from the Collection of The Museum of Modern Art. It had been done before.

When it comes to art, no one did anything for the first time. I know that’s impossible, but it’s also true.

8 November 2023

Impressing Girls

People who get large grants to study these things concluded that members of a boys’ choir sang louder and better when there were girls in the audience. Of course they did; Orson Welles reached the same conclusion decades ago.

“If there hadn’t been women, we’d still be squatting in our cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization to impress our girlfriends.”

9 November 2023

Too Many Paragraphs

“Do you know what your problem is, David?” Eric asked.

“A few dozen come to mind immediately,” I replied. “Could you narrow it down a bit?”

“When you write you have too many paragraphs, and that scares and confuses people,” he explained.

I took it as a compliment. I was reminded of Emperor Joseph II’s advice to the young composer in Milos Forman’s film, Amadeus.

My dear young man, don’t take it too hard. Your work is ingenious. It’s quality work. And there are simply too many notes, that’s all.

I ain’t no Mozart, but I do know that it’s impossible to make everything simple enough for every ignoranus to appreciate.

10 November 2023

Mont Blanc Ain’t What It Used to Be

I feel a bit sorry for any climber who has yet to scale Mont Blanc. Generally those ascents are made to conquer a towering peak, the taller the better.

And therein lies the problem.

You see—and if you don’t now you will soon—the tallest mountain in the Alps is some five meters shorter than it was a couple of decades ago. Therefore and thusly, every new climber to reach the pinnacle will fall short of the achievement of previous mountaineers.

This is only a concern for men with Penis Dimension Disorder, which pretty much describes all the creepy guys in lederhosen hanging around alpine chalet bars. That’s another good reason—as if one was needed—to sip Swiss Miss by the fire here in San Francisco, safely and far from Mont Blanc in France.

11 November 2023

Salon des Refuse

When Henri dragged me into a gallery on our way to his studio, I was unpleasantly reminded why I (almost) never go to galleries: I rarely experience anything of any interest.

That was certainly the case this afternoon; the work on exhibit didn’t fail to disappoint. The artist explained that he created everything from urban flotsam and jetsam, objects that would otherwise end up in a landfill.

Most art ends up in the dump, but at least her detritus got a nice paint job first.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

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©2023 David Glenn Rinehart