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Weak XXX

23 July 2010

No. 8,482 (cartoon)

Drugs and alcohol are going to kill you.

Who wants to die from nothing?

24 July 2010

Daniel Schorr

Daniel Schorr died yesterday. That news didn’t come as a shock; I knew he’d been around for a very long time. I listened to Schorr on the radio regularly for decades, and was always impressed with his erudite commentary.

What did come as a surprise was his age: he was ninety-three when he died. I’d expect someone of that age to sound a bit weak, slow, and feeble, but Schorr certainly didn’t.

I figure I have maybe a couple of decades of strong energy and ideas left. Maybe. Now, maybe I need to rethink that pessimistic assumption. I’m not sure what that will mean in practice, but I fear fewer grilled cheese sandwiches may be one result.

25 July 2010

Macho with Our Brains?!

Lori and I were driving in the Oakland hills when we ran into—without actually running into—Victor, who was walking along the road. We exchanged introductory pleasantries, then drove off.

“Your friend Victor is really sweet,” Lori declared.

“That good,” I replied. “Sometimes people who don’t know him misinterpret his rational responses as coldness. For example, Victor might describe work he doesn’t like by saying, ‘it addresses aesthetic concerns that don’t interest me.’ ”

“Sounds like he’s macho with his brain, just like you are,” Lori suggested.

Macho with our brains?!

26 July 2010

R136a1 Photographic Considerations

R136a1, a star in the Tarantula Nebula, is perhaps ten million times as bright as our sun. (My use of the word “our” assumes that only my fellow earthlings are reading this.)

This alleged fact may not be true today. R136a1 is some one hundred and sixty-five thousand light years away, so I have no idea what’s been going on there in at least the last hundred millennia or so.

I wonder how photographers in the neighborhood of R136a1 work? They’d need to use a shutter speed of a billionth of a second, and I don’t believe such a camera exists, at least here in our Milky Way. And that’s fine with me. Even though I like and use the best tools, I have no use for a camera designed for use in the Tarantula Nebula.

I’m happy living in my galaxy, and have no plans to move any time soon. In the unlikely event I ever need to pack for a trip near R136a1, it’s good to know that I won’t need to bring my tripod.

27 July 2010

Monogamy versus Polygamy

Angelina thrives in her marriage, so I wasn’t surprised when she brought a bottle of Monogamy wine to this afternoon’s picnic.

“I never thought of as the type of person who’d drink novelty wine,” I remarked.

“I always think of you as the type of person who’d drink any wine,” Angelina replied, “so I thought we’d give it a try.”

She went on to remark that wines with allegedly cute names seem to be popular; the store where she bought Monogamy also offered Polygamy from a competing winery.

“What’s cheaper,” I asked, “Monogamy or Polygamy?”

“I think you’re too conscious of price,” she suggested.

“Well, I’m certainly not too conscious of taste,” I agreed, “even when I am conscious.”

Monogamy tasted good; that’s my opinion. But then, most things do if approached with the right attitude.

28 July 2010

Ohio Truths

I read that every lake in Ohio, every single one of them, was created by humans. I wonder if that’s true? I wonder, but I don’t care; I don’t care at all. I’m sure some people must care about Ohio truths, but I don’t believe I know any of them.

29 July 2010

Braking too Much?!

The metal side of my bicycle wheel started to rip and tear. I didn’t think steel did that, but there it was and there you are. And so, I consulted with my learned velocipedic mentor, Dr. Goggin.

“You brake too much,” he declared after a quick look at the shredded rim.

I knew better than to argue with the accomplished cyclist, so I didn’t. I did wonder, however, what time I braked unnecessarily. I couldn’t think of a single instance of unwarranted braking. I do regret, however, not braking when a German tourist stepped into my path a few months ago. The resulting crash ruined my front wheel, and took enough meat off one arm to make a tasty little hors d’oeuvre.

Dr. Goggin uses his brakes sparingly; that explains why he had to have surgery after a recent accident when he was zipping pell-mell lickety-split down a steep hill.

After debating the alternatives, I’ve decided to continue to brake too much. Fixing my bike is a lot less expensive than fixing myself, any way you slice it.

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©2010 David Glenn Rinehart