Last Weak  |  Index  |  Next Weak

Weak II

9 January 2011

No. 6,727 (cartoon)

I’ll never love anyone more than I love you.

You don’t love me at all; you never have.

So we agree!

10 January 2011

Scrummy Nums! (Dr. Lahman’s Best Dinner Ever!)

One of the highlights of the year to date has to be the recent dinner Dr. Lahman made the other night. Scrummy nums!

For some reason, she started the evening with cheese and crackers. I certainly didn’t need an appetizer for one of her feasts, but there they were. I eat whatever’s in front of me, so I did. That’s when I discovered that this was no ordinary goat cheese; she’d added puréed garlic and some little green leafy bits. Scrummy nums!

As evidenced by using a phrase such as, “little green leafy bits,” I’m no food critic, so that will be the last mention of the menu. And anyway, dinner’s not about the food, it’s about the experience. That’s why her most recent dinner was certainly her best. The immediacy of the intimate banquet relegated every other meal she’s prepared to a relatively distant memory.

It would be interesting to be at a smorgasbord the length of a football field, laden with everything Dr. Lahman’s ever cooked for me. In such a situation, I might possibly prefer her Fricasseed Cod Cheeks Breton to the recent fare, but such a hypothetical situation is as irrelevant as it is improbable. At the accepted risk of being repetitiously redundant, the meal is about the experience.

I’ve never had a better dinner at her place. I say that every time for a very good reason: it’s true. Scrummy nums!

11 January 2011

Negatively to Positivity

Last week Polly told me she was avoiding me like the plague. I decided to respond positively, so I told her that I wanted to embrace her like the plague.

I haven’t heard from her since then. I guess she’s just one of those people who respond negatively to positivity.

12 January 2011

Melanie’s Nameless Boyfriend

Melanie thinks she may have found a new boyfriend; it happens all the time.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“He doesn’t have a name,” she replied. “New boyfriends are like kittens; I don’t name them until they’ve been around a couple of weeks and have a decent chance of surviving.”

Melanie thinks she may have found a new boyfriend; I’ve heard the story before.

13 January 2011

Glistening with Erudition

Lara reported that her new professor started the semester on an awkwardly pretentious note.

“I’m going to shower you with my sweeping knowledge,” he announced, “until you’re saturated with rich wisdom and glistening with erudition.”

I suspect he teaches mediocre writing. Judging by all the bad writing around me, it’s a popular area of academic pursuit. Had I taken such a course, I’d probably be a better writer than I am now.

14 January 2011

Pepper Spray Uber Alles

One doesn’t hear much about how things are going on the front in Germany these days. And that’s why so I’m glad that Penelope brought news of a recent skirmish in Berlin to my attention.

According to the news report she forwarded, forty kids attacked a pair of German policemen with a barrage of snowballs. Outnumbered twenty to one, the cops resorted to that favorite Teutonic fighting strategy, disproportionate retaliation. To their credit, the officers showed remarkable restraint by keeping their automatic weapons holstered. Instead, they fired jets of pepper spray at the miscreants, who soon beat a hasty retreat.

But not soon enough. The police managed to arrest a number of the rascals, who learned about peace through superior firepower the hard way.

Last Weak  |  Index  |  Next Weak
©2011 David Glenn Rinehart