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Weak LII

24 December 2011

No. 7,424 (cartoon)

This is the perfect cartoon.

No it’s not.

You just had to ruin it, didn’t you?

25 December 2011

Another Christmas Disaster

Nell reported that celebrating Christmas with Imogen’s family was a disaster.

“Christmas is all about debacles,” I replied. “What kind of fiasco are we talking about?”

“We ran out of booze before noon,” she explained.

I think one shouldn’t rely on alcohol to mask unpleasant realities, but even I might make an exception for this day of saccharine sentiments and bloated excess.

26 December 2011

Same Zoo, Different Ringmaster

The headline momentarily confused me: Kim Jong-un Hailed as Leader of North Korea Military. For a moment, I thought twenty-something proto-tyrant with the face of a swollen mandu was being unhailed.

I feel sorry for the rotund young man. He faces formidable challenges leading his starving citizens out of the dark ages, not the least of which is carrying on the family tradition of being crazier than one’s predecessor.

27 December 2011

Not Sinking in Lava

It’s cold today, the kind of cold that makes one consider a permanent solution to a temporary problem, such as jumping into a huge crater of molten lava.

The problem with that solution is that it’s not really a solution at all. The human body has about the same density as water, but lava’s three times as dense, so you’re not going to sink very much. What you will do, just as the fire and brimstone preachers have warned, is burn: basaltic lava is one or two hundred degrees Celsius hotter than a crematorium.

The whole proposition is unlikely, in that anyone attempting to get rid of a numbing chill by jumping into a lava pool wouldn’t be cold at all by the time s/he was within spitting distance of a volcano. Still, it’s nice to consider such a fiery proposition on a cold, damp day.

28 December 2011

Gratuitous Photo of the Weak: Low Tide

This afternoon’s low tide exposed slimy and globby things growing on a pier by my boat, so I photographed the denizens of the not so deep.

29 December 2011

Let’s Eat Grandma

Gertrude gave me a small poster of a handsome old woman with the three lines of copy underneath.

Let’s eat Grandma.
Let’s eat, Grandma.
Punctuation saves lives.

That’s of course good advice, but I threw the poster away as soon as she left. I regularly butcher grammar and punctuation, and don’t want to be reminded of the potential unintended consequences of my considerable ignorance.

30 December 2011

Editor or Photographer?

After reading my notebook entry about Bonnie’s party, in which I described taking lots of photographs in order to perhaps end up with a good one, Cordelia asked me if I was really a photographer or just an editor.

Dang; that’s going to take some thought. Maybe next year.

31 December 2011

Rolls of Honour

On the eve of a new year, there’s not much to do now except thank all the patrons in my 2011 Rolls of Honour programme.

David R. Brower Center, Berkeley
Fifth Avenue Marina, Oakland
Fleischman Field Research
Hotel Charmant, Kii-Katsuura, Japan
Hotel Triton
Geographic Expeditions
Green Papaya Deli, Oakland
Holiday Inn, Monterey
Internet Archive
Kansai International Airport, Osaka, Japan
Litke Properties
McDonald’s Restaurant
Pho Garden
Planet Coffee, San Leandro
Taiji Whale Museum, Taiji, Japan

And now, it’s time to wipe the slate clean and start afresh next year.

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©2011 David Glenn Rinehart