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Weak I

1 January 2012

No. 9,093 (cartoon)

You need someone’s love.

I’d sell it if I had it.

2 January 2012

Molly’s Music Experiment

Molly told me that she’s beginning the year with an experiment. She’s going to stop playing all music when she’s alone in her apartment in order to only hear street noise and silence.

I’m looking forward to her evaluation of her investigation. Molly’s smart; I imagine that she may end up agreeing with John Cage that street noise and silence are music. Music is like art: it’s music or art if you want it to be, if you will it to be.

3 January 2012

Gratuitous Photo of the Weak: Butternut Squash

When asked to peel a squash, the best response is to flee. That’s not an option when someone you love makes the request, so I did. Not flee, that is. The ordeal was, be definition, an ordeal, but with one redeeming aspect: the end of the squash was visually interesting enough to photograph.

4 January 2012

Meat from Dignified Sex

Lots of people say stupid things. Unfortunately or not, my smart friends rarely say stupid things. And that’s why I like celebrities: every stupid thing they say gets published.

Take Nicolas Cage, who declared, “I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex.”

?!

“I think fish are very dignified with sex,” he continued. “So are birds.”

Many fish reproduce by the male spraying sperm on eggs the female has laid. I suppose if you consider not touching your partner during sex to be dignified, then that makes a scintilla of sense.

But then there are the birds. I recently witnessed ducks mating near my boat, a violent process that appeared to involve the male duck raping his victim while holding her head under water. That’s not dignified, except perhaps relative to the famous necrophiliac duck in Rotterdam. But that’s another story for another day: 6 June 2008, to be precise.

5 January 2012

Mr. Kale, Meet Ms. Peanut

Polly never uses a dish or a utensil twice. Anything that touches food or her mouth is in the dishwashing queue soon thereafter. I think dealing with all those dishes and cutlery is a waste of time. That’s why I use one cup, one bowl, one plate, and spoon, one fork, and one knife all day and all night. For example, I use the cup for espresso in the morning, water all day, and wine at night.

Simple, no?

Tonight, I enjoyed spicy kale as well as peanut butter and celery for dinner. The garlic, vinegar, and chilies mingled favorably with the peanuts, a serendipitous union that wouldn’t have happened if I’d used separate forks. And since I never really stop using anything, I never need to wash dishes.

Simple, indeed!

6 January 2012

Traded Unfairly

Melanie has a can of “fair trade” coffee on her kitchen counter. The label assures me that the people who harvested and processed the coffee were treated well and compensated fairly for their work and beans. Since almost nothing carries the fair trade label, does that mean that almost everything is traded unfairly?

The answer is obvious, but I don’t feel too bad about it since I’m traded unfairly as well.

7 January 2012

Looking Up Felicific

Lara sent me a nice birthday note this afternoon; she said she hoped that I was, “fit, feisty, felicific, and fetching ... a can of Rainier Ale.” I agreed with her sentiments, and proceeded to fetch a dictionary and a drink.

8 January 2012

(19)56

(19)56 is a short (thirty-second) film I made about my most recent birthday. It has a happy ending, so far.

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©2012 David Glenn Rinehart