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Weak XV

9 April 2025

No. 9,945 (cartoon)

I’m a very deep thinker.

Do any ideas ever make it to the surface?

Not really; they get the bends and come out crazy.

10 April 2025

Radio Rinehart

I stopped listening to the radio a long time ago. Even National Public Radio is unlistenable after the administraitors filled the broadcasts with ads in order to pay themselves high salaries. A pox on all the selfish buggers who pillage worthy endeavors to line their pockets.

When I want to listen to music, I reach for my pocket computer dba a phone. I have over fifty thousand songs on it, and that’s a problem as well as a solution. When it’s time to clean the kitchen, shall I listen to a Canker Omelette album I’ve never heard before? No, I shall not take that chance, and I will again play one of the hundred satisfying albums I regularly hear.

I had a minor epiphany this morning when I was looking for a comfortable way to explore beyond my audio terra firma. My insight wasn’t particularly brilliant, just the opposite. I discovered a solution that had been in front of me for a least at quarter of a century: playing tracks at random.

It’s like having my own personal broadcast station that only plays music of interest to me, with no inane chatter by the disc jockey, and not a single advertisement. I’ve found some great musicians and music I’ve had on my computer for decades by shuffling songs at random.

This approach has expanded my musical horizons by an order of magnitude or two, and there’s only one wee fruitfly in the aural ointment. I have the tiniest smidgen of guilt that I’m acting like a philistine. A group of excellent musicians composes and records a dozen songs, spends days mastering the recordings, then sequences them into a single piece, an album. And then I come along, listen to the third track, then halfway through it I click on the “next” button because I feel like listening to something else.

I changed my mind; I don’t feel any guilt. I’m never bothered when someone spends two seconds looking at one of my pieces before moving on. I can’t remember where I was going with this, so it looks like I’m done.

11 April 2025

(Not) My Thoughts, Beliefs, And Personal Opinions

A year ago I mentioned one of the lines in the Stare Copyright Notice And Trial Software License: David Glenn Rinehart’s personal opinions are not his own. The Stare legal department last revised that in 2010, and the lawyers just informed me that I need to modify it again based on this news report from the bowels of Louisiana.

The decision sides with the Trump administration’s claim that a short memo written by the secretary of state, Marco Rubio, which stated Khalil’s “current or expected beliefs, statements or associations” were counter to foreign policy interests, is sufficient evidence to remove a lawful permanent resident from the United States.

Did you catch that? A judge has ruled that people can be deported because of what they are expected to believe in the future. A week and a half ago I opined that reality has merged with satire, and now bad science fiction has merged with both. I wonder if the thought police will wear brown shirts?

I’m afraid the attorneys were right; it’s time for another legal update: David Glenn Rinehart’s past, current, and future thoughts, beliefs, and personal opinions are not his own.

12 April 2025

Two-Dimensional Passover Seder Plate

Suzette’s a visual artist, but she’s not very observant when it comes to Judaism. At tonight’s Passover dinner, she replaced the traditional Seder plate featuring beitzah, karpas, zeroa, et cetera with a photograph of one. I’m not sure if that’s kosher, but what do I know? Oy, I’m just a goy who came for the vittles and wine.

13 April 2025

Another Subway Story

I read that a man was robbed on the New York City Subway, and later that night the same fella was sexually assaulted. I couldn’t figure out why such common crimes in a city of almost nine million people would be considered newsworthy until I saw the salient detail: the guy was dead.

Now before I go on, I want to state clearly that I am opposed to necrophilia, whether it’s in a subway carriage or in the back room of a funeral home with wine, cheese, candles, and formaldehyde. Any questions?

Why, yes I do. Having been mugged with a modest amount of violence a few decades ago, I wonder if it might be preferable to assault corpses than living human beings. I hope I never get attacked again, but, if I am, I hope I’m already dead at the time. (This assumes that my assailant(s) didn’t murder me before robbing me.)

Meanwhile, back at sex with subway corpses ...

Nah, that’s quite enough New York news for one day.

14 April 2025

Juanita’s Toilets

Juanita has almost a dozen toilets at her place. Most of them are inside, and she has a couple in the backyard and garden as well. Only three are for human waste, but they’re all fully functional in other ways. Juanita claims there’s something about sitting on a porcelain chair that inexplicably alters her brain waves in wonderful and mysterious ways. That’s why she has two in her studio, one for her and one for a lucky guest like me.

I had a lovely visit with her this afternoon. If there’s anything better than enjoying a great conversation while sipping cocktails, it’s doing that while sitting on adjacent toilets. Good vibes, as the Californians say.

15 April 2025

Running Beers

I tried running for exercise once, when I was a teenager, then gave up because it was physically impossible: my beer kept foaming over. That was a very long time ago, and I just read that things are of course very different today.

I realized how much brewing technology had advanced when I saw this headline in The Boston Globe: Four Boston Marathon beers to try right now. I can only assume that researchers at the brewery have concocted suds that don’t fizz or froth, just the thing for proper hydration while running on a hot day.

Sadly, this advance in the alcoholic arts means nothing to me. Today, it’s my dodgy knee, not bubbling beer, that prevents me from running. That’s not really a problem; my bicycle has a motion-stabilized cupholder that’s perfect for a tall glass of wine.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

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